I guess I will directly comment on Simone Biles, the US Gymnast and the media narrative in telling her background story. I'm assuming you know it, and well my criticism comes from people that state we need to respect who she identifies as a mom and dad, and that's real her mom and dad. Being that this was a kinship adoption of an older child, already aware that her mother and father couldn't raise her she was in a unique position to have an opportunity to call her grandparents either by the grandparent name or by "mom and dad" WITH her grandparents permission.
The great majority of us do not have permission on who we get to call mom and dad.
When my first child was just a toddler, she wouldn't call her father (my husband) "dad". Instead she would call her father by his first name, because everyone else called him by that name. No one else called him dad or daddy. She didn't have any older siblings, we had to teach her to call her father "dad". We could have done nothing and allowed her to keep calling her father by his first name, but most people would think he wasn't her father, and probably a step dad.
Imagine four biological children who were being directly parented by their father their entire lives and have them call him by his first name?
Point is we are told from an early age on who to call mom and dad. I didn't have a say on who I called my parents. I'm sure as I approach the age of 40, that if I started to call my own parents by their first names they would be quite bother by it.
Unless it is an older adoption, or a kinship adoption where the relatives give the child that option than guess what?
No one really gets to identify who their parents are. They are identified for us.
Instead other people tells us from a young age what things are. You don't get to pick your own name, and in reality biological or not it is someone else telling you who to call mom and dad. I mean if Simone's grandparents really didn't want to be called mom and dad, I 'm sure they would of redirected and teach a young Simone not to and she would of complied.
So no you don't get a say, and if you do it is only with permission.