Friday, December 18, 2015

The bigger problem with supervised visitation


***This isn't a complaint against the agency or the interview, this is a complaint how we could do better at helping parents parent.***


This week I had an interview to be a monitor for supervised visits for non-custodial parents, I didn't apply for this job it was presented to me when I went in to interview for another position. I didn't take the job, because parents should be able to figure it out on their own whether you like the other parent or not. If the parent is truly that "unsafe", I really can not protect your child. 

Why make the non-custodial parent pay upwards of 60 dollars an hour to see his/her own child for three hours in an environment that is not personal or that entertaining? Under this position, I wasn't even able to be a parental guide and assist in parenting. I just had to sit an observe. Can you imagine any parent, who hadn't seen his/her child in some time would probably be very anxious and would like some support on what to do? But no. I couldn't say a thing, I could only intervene if it was 'unsafe'. We couldn't go outside if the weather was nice or go to one of the child's extra curricular activities. Safety is an important thing, but hanging out in a well supplied room of toys (a foreign place to both parent & child) doesn't create needed bonds for both child and parent. 

Mom and dad, your past relationship might have been like oil and water, but find a neutral third party (extended family member) and save yourself and you child the less then wonderful experience of supervised visits. Do not disrupt normal activities for your child, to have a professionally supervised visit at an agency. Anyone interested in reading the 23 page guide on Massachusetts Supervised Visitation? Anyone?