Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Talking to your children about sex is the easy part and what's missing?

I am going to speak both in a Catholic and non-Catholic point of view. 

When I volunteer at DCF I asked one of the social workers privately, "When you do respect the sexual decisions of a teenager, and when do you pull them aside and say I can't stand by and do nothing. What you are doing is dangerous and you can hurt yourself?" At where is the line where birth control is a responsible decision vs. condoning irresponsible behavior. At what point is the teen so reckless, the immediate remedy is just to fit her with an implant or IUD.

From the Boston Globe, which highlights both Planned Parenthood/Human Right Foundation (which their lobbyist names are absurd considering what they are) along with The Massachusetts Family Institute. 

In many ways there are some things they agree upon. Birds & the Bees. Healthy relationships. But does an eleven year old really need to hear about oral and anal sex in a positive manner? I don't know, even with my own kids who know how babies are made at this age, and think kissing is gross, would just be horrified with this. We have a 'public screen' rule in our home, so there is very little sexually explicit material ever seen. Except, PBS Nature.

While clearly abstinence works and makes the most logical sense until well monogamy (formally known as marriage), preaching abstinence just lacks substance. Explaining about homosexuality in of itself, is fine with a  lot of us "conservatives". Back in the 80s, all I needed to know was that an individual we knew was gay, and that meant he or she prefer companionship of someone of the same sex. Did I really need to know about gay sex? AIDS being an behavior epidemic that was contracted by an action of sharing bodily fluids. Teaching of orientation is different then behavior.

What is educating vs. promoting, especially in terms of health education. Both sides agree with the science and the data collected by the CDC.

What I see is a lot of overlapping of ideas, but addressing for totally two point of views.

"Health statistics show a need for sexuality education for gay and lesbian students. Those students are more likely to engage in risky behaviors that result in pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases, federal findings show. Experts say the students, facing pressure to have heterosexual sex, often have multiple partners and forgo protection.As a result, lesbian and bisexual teens experience twice the risk of unintended pregnancy than their heterosexual peers. And the HIV infection rate is rising rapidly among those between the ages of 13 and 24, particularly among gay youth, according to the CDC; many are unaware that they have been infected and pass on the disease through unprotected anal sex.

In a hyper sexualized world, the young teens most at risk at well the one's who feel awkward. No matter how accepting a society is of homosexuality and all of your friends think it is en vogue to be bisexual, if you really are gay... well you're different and you might try to prove you're not different.

But I disagree with this part...

Landon Callahan, a 17-year-old senior from North Attleboro, recalled being an anxious fifth grader facing gender identity confusion when a school nurse whisked the girls in the class off to watch a video about developing breasts and getting their menstrual periods. An uncertain Callahan was included in the girls’ group, while the boys had gone with the gym teacher for a separate puberty discussion.
“I felt super uncomfortable and nervous because I did not feel like any of that should be happening to me,” said Callahan, who transitioned to male after battling severe depression his freshman year of high school. If sex education were more inclusive from an early age, he said, “being transgender wouldn’t be as much of this taboo thing.”

I'm very sympathetic, yet would inclusion at this age really help, especially if we are talking about sanitary issues regarding menstruation.  Maybe hearing about oral and anal sex as being normal would make me very depressed as a eleven year old?

What missing? 

Talk about pornography addiction, since the availability is so readily available. 

Talk about older children harming younger children. Just as we tell young children it's NOT OK to be touch, older children need to be reminded it is NOT OK to touch younger children. 

My experience with DCF make me very well aware that the DUGGARS are not an isolated case. 



  1. There's no such thing as "porn addiction".

    1. I think it needs a better definition, addiction may not be the right term. Term problematic like food addiction.