Tuesday, June 2, 2015

7QT Being A Father Still Matters

1. I don't have millions of dollars of influence in politics or media, and I have no ill will to ruin anyone's livelihood. Some say that's the problem, I won't fight fire with fire or I won't punch back twice as hard. Fighting fire with fire will only cause a conflagration. Punching back isn't defending myself, because I'm not at war and there is no need to fight. Sure you may even destroy my reputation with false presentations of the argument, but nothing is changed. Reality is reality, and the only thing created is confusion and fear.

The general theme of the blogging has been 'Marriage from a Child's Point of View'.  The relationship between our mother and father matters. We may not speak it in terms of marriage or even promote it opening without offending other adult relationships, but it matters. Society will not get better until we recognize this matters. 


Being a Child of a Transgendered Parent by Catholic Classy

 Every day I walk around like everything is okay. When in reality my heart is broken. My father who I loved so much broke my heart. My father who I looked up to and loved so deeply left me. The father who I thought was the best man on earth, and could have not been more proud of disappeared. I thought he was someone who overcame so many travesties in his life, and so much self growth. I was so proud of him for that. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t miss him. My father whom I knew and loved for 17 years of my life just disappeared overnight it seemed. The man I loved so much was gone.  I spent so much of my life trying to impress that man and make him proud. I miss him picking me up every Tuesday and Thursday. I miss sitting outside talking to him while he worked on either his motorcycle or car. I miss long drives with him talking about life. I miss it all. My heart is completely broken by this. People probably think I’m a horrible person for not speaking to him anymore. What they don’t understand is the emotional toll this has put on me. 


4. Catholic Classy handled this well, but I'm so angry/frustrated with 'rightsaidkate', she totally dismisses the child's feelings. Who is the parent and who is the child? Why is this cross on Catholic Classy shoulders? 

Why can't people recognize the trauma of a child when they lose the parent they once knew!

Catholic Classy should't have to apologize for dealing with the loss her father as the primary male role model in her life. 

5. I don't get it. My volunteer work at Massachusetts DCF always puts the best interests of the child first. It's about the child and their rights, their needs, and their wants. Even in a case where a young teenage boy was adopted by two women, he requested a male mentor. The married lesbian couple were not offended, because the needs of their adopted son came FIRST. Even they acknowledge he need the ability to speak in confidence with a man. 

That desire, that right was taken away from Catholic Classy by her father's choices. She had no say in the matter. And that's the thing children can't control the choices of adults, and that why we hold adults at a different standard then children. The obligations and burdens of being a responsible father fall on the man, not on his children. 

6.  The desire to have both a mother and a father isn't wrong. No one is crazy for saying this. Catholic Classy is being perfectly sane and reasonable for expressing her emotions of loss. 

She'a not alone

I'm not personally against transgender. I tend to be more liberal on the issue if someone truly believes they are correcting something, but you become a parent you lose a lot of your freedoms for the sake of your child. Your'e her father, be dad. 

7. Do people realize we are at a point in society that we make children feel guilty and ashamed for wanting their mother and father? That's where we are. Is there anything left to salvage from our current civilization, before we go completely dark and have to rebuild? 

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