Monday, March 2, 2015

7QT Adults Stop Chanting "Wait for Marriage" to Teenagers

More 7QTs over at 'This Ain't the Lyceum'.

(I write these days in advance, I know. It's not until Friday)

1.  Yes, Everyone. Because this includes the 'comprehensive sex' programs as well. The assumption in comprehensive sex programs along with abstinence programs is that child bearing will occur within marriage. Does anyone know of a sex education program that promotes child bearing outside of marriage? Both have the same problem, you're telling young teenagers to wait... but for what...

We teach our children about sex, because they're going through puberty but we don't prepare them for marriage. On both sides we just tell them to 'wait', and by the time they are in their early 20s, they've done a lot of waiting (either through abstaining or by consistent use of birth control/condoms).

2. College students don't even know how to date. They may or may not have sex. They might not have an STD or become pregnant, but we FAILED in preparation as being sexual adults in healthy relationships.  Over the years I've read ideas that we shouldn't date, but court. What did people think dating was? It was courtship!

3. Recently, I watched a 30 minute video as a part of my daughter's sex ed. I was glad that parents are involved. The only segment of true value was the the doctor speaking. The doctor didn't need to insert God a dozen times into the 10 minutes. Say it once or twice was fine, she was losing credibility. Stick with the facts. She did a good job describing sexual intercourse & sexual activity and the increase of STDs

4. The other segments were of athletes, as role models. A balding middle aged man showing off his Super Bowl ring, that he won 30+ years ago doesn't help my children to make informed choices when it come to marriage preparation.

As someone who is NOT athletic, as a teenager this message would send me to hang out, hook up, and smoke pot.... oh wait... I did that with comprehensive sex education. The video was under ten years old, made just prior to the explosion of smart phones/social media. It felt dated. For a young teenager, a video made when s/he was 7 or 8 years old is like watching something 50 years ago for an adult.

Other a few adults telling her to 'wait for this gift', it left nothing to offer in a cheesy motivational speech.

6. Seventy years ago, they had Catholic sex education. It looked like this! *

There is no talk about waiting!

There is talk about preparing for marriage. 

There is talk about a choice of spouse.

There is talk about MONEY. This was 1945, and a lecture series for only women.  

There is a talk about family problems. 

These are the issues I want to teach my children!

7. Even those these women were single, and not ready for 'pre-cana', notice the good amount of the lecture series is about being within a marriage. They didn't spend half of the time chanting 'Wait for Marriage' or "Stay Protected/Healthy" and trot out celebrities. 

Stop telling teenagers to 'wait', if you aren't going to put down the foundation of what to expect and be ready for marriage, if they choose. (Not every one marries, and that's OK too)

*Cite: Saint Jean Baptiste Parish and the Franco-Americans Richard Santerre (page 300)


  1. Yes! If you grew up in the last two or three decades as a Christian, you had to endure any number of cheesy and/or ludicrous sex ed programs. The best is when you get those earnest talks about how "hot" it is to wait to even hold hands until you're at the altar. I've been to chastity talks that fogged up the windows.

  2. We were always taught the topicc of sex was taboo prior to the late 60s, but evidently they were not.