Monday, March 31, 2014

Alexandria's Disclaimer on Posts

I should give fair warning over at Alexandria. A few ideas I ABSOLUTELY reject from other contributors. My participation at Alexandria is in no way is an endorsement of those ideas that you may find while browsing over there. I find these ideas to be disordered and harmful, but as the curator of the blog made clear that he wants 'a radically diverse' group, even if it means one out of a dozen plus contributors has an unhealthy p-rn-graphy addiction that includes violence.
"The human heart is like a flea market of desires, and people need to know how to pick out the good from the bad" -Pope Francis

There is some junk (evil) on there, just letting you know.

I strongly suggest some Matt Fradd and this as well. It's an addiction, and it messes with your brain.

I waver back and forth on contributing, I have a rule in my home we discuss ideas online as if we are sitting at the dinner table. There would be a difference if the contributor was struggling his addiction, but this contributor is at the moment fulling embracing it and discussing his hobby of sorts. I respect the curator's ideals, but I think the may be pushing it with this one. Like really pushing it, andI'm out.

Friday, March 28, 2014

7QT Life Long Connections & Broken Souls

More Quick Takes at Jen's Conversion Diary

1. Today I will be attending a workshop on Nurturing Fathers for DCF in their Lawrence office. My volunteering is one of the things that keeps my sanity when I'm constantly taken back on how we have given up on the family in out culture. In each foster care review, we ask if the child/teen/young adult has any 'life long connections'. For many, which seems to be fewer and fewer, it is what we call family and friends. Someone we could rely on if our car was at the mechanic. For many children their only connection is through an agency, someone paid by the government to be there for them. For DCF, this is something we try to avoid. Ultimately the goal if not just for the child to be independent but to have those life-long connections when they age out in their early 20s.


2. Homelessness seen hitting teen parents hard
"I grew up in a broken home, not just because there was no father, but because there was abuse of bodies and souls," Starkes said. "It was so difficult because no one on the outside knew."

Starkes said her mother also came from an unstable home. "She passed her brokenness to her children," she said.
3. What if the media reported the fatherless crisis and no one cared?
He wondered maybe we need to shout it on the rooftops, in fact it made him a little angry that we live in a world that just shrugs it shoulders.
I informed him, shouting it on the rooftops doesn't work. That's not how you share a vocation.

4. That’s not a traditional marriage.
Yes, the division of labor is polarized. Not ideal, but it what works for our family now. Dramatic shifts in employment situations happen with children, and sacrifices (often crappy) in career trajectories is one them. For some it may be working different shifts, or others a parent stays home.
Tradition is how the couple cooperates with one another fully no matter what, you're not roommates with similar interests.

5.
60% of urban US and 40% of rural say 1 parent can do just as well as 2 together. Astonishes me: http://m.us.wsj.com/news/interactive/RURALURBAN0321?mobile=y …- David Blankenhorn
Understanding the fatherless crisis, isn't about putting down mothers. It is about understanding a child's need. Saying a child need his/her fathers, isn't saying a single mother is horrible person. What we are saying let's work on the factors to encourage father participation.

6.Thoughts of a retiring pediatrician
He attributes the spike in social and emotional distress among children to the disintegration of the nuclear family.
“Unfortunately, there are so many kids now that are raised in fatherless homes,” he said. “The structure that provides nurturing healthy attitudes and healthy mental health is shaken. The really important institutions like family have just been ignored and crushed. It’s terrible.”
7. Confessions
I have a confession from two decades ago.

The best house to underage drink/party/whatever, was a home where the parents were going through a divorce.

Dad already moved out and mom out on a date.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

What if the media reported the fatherless crisis and no one cared?

This video had one view and it is four years old. 



To reference Greg Page, on why I keep caring about this issue and its connection to marriage rates.
"Find some issue that you can take out and paddle with, against the tide.  Then, find some reflective surfaces so you can stop, and admire. 

It's a lonely social cause. No one wants to talk about it, even when the media made a wonderful attempt on something so simple it is ignored. Last April I discussed how the NBA wanted to tackle the fatherless crisis and CNN reported it. No one cared to share it on social media.

Back in 2010 40% of American's believed marriage was obsolete. Marriage may be evolving, but evolving doesn't always mean evolving in a better direction. Marriage is evolving into extinction. Evolving means there has been a variation in the factors, which changes our decision in the having children without mother and father both equally in the picture or in this case to simply pair bond. You still need to be careful, just ask Johnny Weir, his soon-to-be ex-husband doesn't understand the term 'traditional' and should of applied for the New Jersey  State Bar and found himself a job!.

Meanwhile beyond celebrity gossip,I discuss with my children the concept of marriage as something different as Catholics compared to the rest of society. This seem strange to them, it is a no brainer that matrimony unites man and woman as an obligation and that sex is always open to procreation. It's a vocation that you reflect with wisdom and understanding. I informed them that rest of the world doesn't have this same view, and we have to be careful with our words in public.

For one child, he still had a hard time understanding something so obvious. We all have a mom and dad, and more often then not it seems that children do not live with both their mother and father. He knows the stresses, and it bothered him greatly that outside of the Church no one really cares whether or not children live with both parents.

He wondered maybe we need to shout it on the rooftops, in fact it made him a little angry that we live in a world that just shrugs it shoulders. Marriage hasn't evolved, as Richard Tisei would want people to believe. Marriage as a matter of public policy have become irrelevant, nothing more then to mock someone as 'anti-equality'/'anti-gay' to dare reference a child has a mother and father.

I reminded him, that marriage is a vocation and that it has to be done with joy. Even if you are the last person on Earth, you do it with joy!  Yes, it is upsetting, but the media did report this issue.

  We were very much warned, but we ignored it.
 Repeat.
 We ignored it. .  

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Decade in Blogging (VI)

Monday, May 29, 2006

Cardinal Sean's prayer service at Saint Michael's


I have to admit I was not planning on going to the prayer service being held at Saint Michael’s this evening for the victims of sexual abuse. I could say I am pregnant, it is a holiday or the heat but to be honest I just did not want to deal with it because I was being selfish. 

I have to admit why should I get my hands involved, I did not sexually abuse anyone. 

I rather talk about Natural Family Planning, helping couples with the Sacrament of Marriage, or seeing a friend enter the Church through confirmation. Even though I am a Catholic within the Archdiocese of Boston, I do not see myself as part of the sexual abuse scandal. If anything, I am the answer. Right?

I went anyways. I was moved by Father Capone’s comment that it was as a parishioner of Saint Michaels I have a duty to suffer with the victims as a part of the restoration of our very broken Church. My husband sat close up on the left hand side and waited to witness what had was done to our Church. 

The service was disturbing, painful, and upsetting. It was not like a funeral, where people mourn, the pain that existed by the hands of the abusive priests was devastating. The service main focal point was in the beginning, where one of the victims of Father Birmingham in the 70’s spoke about his torture at his hands. The victim went into detail as a twelve year old boy lured on a church skiing trip left alone with his abuser in a hotel room. The abuse lasted until he was 18 years old. 

The victim went into further detail how it affected his entire life. He could not feel safe in what should have been his home, his parish. He went into detail of confusion as an adult, a failed marriage, and a concern that his own daughter could be another victim of abuse by hands of a predator. It left him in a psych ward for a week, with much therapy and healing through his family and Faith in God to come forward.

The overt action of Cardinal O’Malley, Father Capone, and all the priests and deacons present was so painful to watch as they ask God to heal our Church and mercy by lying flat on the stomachs in front of Saint Michael’s altar as we prayed for healing. 

There were some protesters; I did see photographers respectfully present. It is not “Business as usual” in the Archdiocese as one protester had stated on his poster. The suffering I felt was horrible, and I am sure the pain the protestors have is painful also. I had to feel it first hand. This was no public relations stunt, this was no “I’m Sorry”. I saw it. This is real.

So if you do have an opportunity in the future to go to a prayer service in your own parish or a nearby service with Cardinal, I strongly plead that you attend.

Friday, March 14, 2014

7QT Where do Internet Memes come from?

More Quick Takes at Jen's Conversion Diary

1. Over at Alexandria N.F. Mannikko  on the "The short-sightedness of the terminally selfish." 
I’ve also never understood the simplistic thinking that lies behind the desire to pay taxes only for things that have a direct, visible, obvious-even-to-the-dimmest-thinkers effect on me right now. You know, the type of thinking that says “I want potholes repaired because I drive a car. I don’t want to fund the library because I don’t use it.” There seems to be a style of cognition operating that functions only in the immediate here and now and then only in a narrow window. 
There are various views in this thread, everyone is polite if you want to weigh in.

2.  Also over at Aleksandria, why is everyone moving to Texas? It isn't because of Jen. 

3. This has truly been the longest winter here in Lowell Massachusetts. We always would get a snow storm here and there in March and even into early April. This season it is the consistency. The snow cover is still on the ground, and it is snowing bitterly cold as of mid-March. No warm days over 40, just to give us a break.

4. Where do Internet memes come from?

Ever wonder where those internet memes come from on social media? No longer do we share actual news stories and discuss the pros and cons, we just ‘like’ and ‘share’ photos with some words that have little reference to them.



 5.  For our children's generation, probably less then half will grow up with both biological parents. I don't even think they will reference it as marriage in a few years.


6. Oddly as the law allows everyone the freedom to marry in their own defining way, no one will choose do so.

7. Sounds like weird dating advice, but it is research on marriage. 

Other interesting findings from the study include the following:
  • Women with above average grooming are less likely to cohabit without subsequent marriage.
  • For men, having an above average personality has the strongest association with the likelihood of getting married.
  • Men with above average physical attractiveness have a greater chance of cohabitation without subsequent marriage.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Insert "Click Bait" title

That's my click-bait title.

I'm examining my conscience for an upcoming confession, and most of my sin comes from anger and being annoyed by people who want to take the Church's teaches and parse them up by high-lightening and low-lightening what is asked of us.

Here is a segment of a brochure I use prior to confession.


The Church's teachings are MORE harsh towards heterosexuals. So I'm annoyed, I'm annoyed when people accuse the Church as being anti-gay. It isn't. 

Look again.

Reread what is asked from all of us.There isn't a list for straight people, and another for gay people. This is the list. The list applied to all of us.  

This is hard. Especially if many of these sins have been re-occurring for decades on end. These sins have been with us since teenager.  We were freely giving out condoms to, and know nothing about Natural Family Planning, and live through numerous divorces within our families. Bad habits are hard to break. Confession is great, but we need other forms of support to break bad habits. 

We can't go through the grocery check out line without being somehow sexually tempted, by a magazine trying to sell sex. It's everywhere. The Church gets that. We're aware it is everywhere. 


"Tyler Oakley Annoying"

Search from Google and came upon my post.

The World Domination of Tyler Oakley


Annoying, but popular. 

Saturday, March 1, 2014

President Obama's Ironic Hypocritical Statement on Marriage & Children

I don't care if it is hypocritical or ironic, I'll take it!


From The Grio

"“Yes, we need to train our workers, invest in our schools, make college more affordable — and government has a role to play.  And, yes, we need to encourage fathers to stick around, and remove the barriers to marriage, and talk openly about things like responsibility and faith and community.  In the words of Dr. King, it is not either-or; it is both-and,” Obama said."
I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings because they are for Marriage Equality, but we all know marriage public policy is really about children having their mother and fathers. It's not about one person being better then the other, it is about a need in our communities.