Friday, January 31, 2014

7QT Rant about the Media

More Quick Takes at Jen's Conversion Diary

1. And the Grammy Goes to...Satan (yeah, we just don't bother) The blog entry in the link is by Sr. Clare Hunter, who actually endured the Grammy's. She does a wonderful explanation, why it was that bad it indeed deserved that recognition without damning anyone to hell.

2.I think we can all agree the entertainment industry isn't what it use to be. How did it get that way?

3.
I don't agree with everything at Media Consolidation, but it's worth a look to remind ourselves where our media comes from.

4. There is more diversity within in a mile of my home in Lowell Massachusetts, then anything that is on commercial television.

5. At Media Consolidation, they list who owns what and how they are connected, is really informative. It allows anyone to make a better decision on where they get their media from. I highly recommend the link.

6. We're at a point, we don't even turn on the TV. We may not even replace it, when it breaks.

7. Remember when 'Alternative' had meaning? That is what dumbfounds me at least a few times a week, we had a real 'indie' scene established. There was a lot of tolerance (see the link). It's gone. Taken over.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

A Decade in Blogging (V)

This was an incredibly popular post, back in 2006 from Up On Christian Hill And yes I do indeed have painless births. I really don't know when the baby is coming, until I'm crowning and only need a few surges (contractions) until the baby is completely out. With my fourth child, I had to 'call in the nurse'. None of them were even in the room. When the nurse came in, she took one look and ran back out into the hallway calling for the doctor. If I didn't have other medical issues, unrelated to pregnancy/fertility I would probably have more children.

----------------

Pregnancy Update: Hypnobirthing Sunday, April 30, 2006

I’m currently reviewing Marie F. Mongan’s, “Hypnobirthing: A Celebration of Life” I used her techniques with a skilled doula to obtain a painless birth with my second child. Never really knowing what labor was suppose to be, I actually had a partially painless labor with my first. I remember each time the nurse asking, “Don’t you feel that!”

My response was. “Feel what?" Every time my stomach would tighten up so hard, it wasn’t until my water broke and felt back labor I ‘cried’ for the epidural. With my second it was so painless, even after my water broke at home I almost didn’t get to Saints Memorial in time and didn’t realize the baby even came out. Seriously, I asked the obstetrician what happened; she told me I just had a baby.

Even though I have criticism of Mongan’s personal experience that brought fear in her own birth process (which was misinterpreted Judeo-Christian belief), you can easily forgive such passages since her explanation of birth and labor makes sound sense from a medical point of view as well as a philosophical one.

One of my favorite passages, that I related to was right on page three.
“The premise of birth, by nature, had to be painful ordeal was totally unacceptable to me. I could not believe that a God who had created the body with such perfection could have designed a system of procreation that was flawed. Even more importantly, I could not believe that a loving God would commit so cruel a hoax as to make us sexual beings so that we could conceive and then make the means through which we would birth our children so excruciatingly painful.”
This exactly goes with my belief against artificial birth control, and why I so advocate the understanding of a woman’s body through the medical research of natural family planning. Being a woman whether if it is birth, trying to conceive, or avoiding conception isn’t about treating our sexual bodies as diseases it is something that comes with God’s love and understanding.

Think about women are taught about our bodies? In reality we are taught nothing about what goes on beyond our sanitary needs of our period and synthetic hormonal birth control because there is something wrong with our sexuality. It goes even further with pregnancy and birth, in which starting from a young age many of us are told horror stories about our mother’s giving birth to us. And even as we try to prepare for a normal birthing experience, we are given the negative advice of being told just ask for the epidural or sometimes even the thought of skipping birth and elect an c-section.

Beyond just the negative view of birth encompasses children, as general rules are harmful to our lives. Sure everything changes with children, and you do give up many material items but this is seen as a negative belief not a positive one of gaining love. Children ruin your life, and the onset in belief that the disposal of the unborn through abortion is not seen as the gravest evil that woman and men are mislead to believing as mere reproductive health only makes it more difficult to enjoy the truth and love that children bring us. .

Hypnobirthing has more about addressing negative views, then the idea of being hypnotized and in a trance. Some of the items she reviews later on in the book is understanding looking back at your own birth, other birth stories, previous labors, parenting attitudes, support, marriage, career, housing, medical care, finances, and prior relationships.

Friday, January 24, 2014

7QT I need parenting advice.

More Quick Takes at Jen's Conversion Diary

1. I don't ususally talk about my children on 7QTs.

2. How do teach a child the importance of good study habits?

3. The child is a mule, who won't budge. I have done everything to make it easy for the child, but I can't physically force a child to study. I'm not going to read out loud or do the homework. I won't be there for the test, the child will be.

4. The teacher is aware of the situation, the teacher isn't going to check the child's bag every afternoon. The child is perfectly capable of writing down the homework assignment and putting the materials in the school bag.

5. The child isn't dumb. This isn't an academic issue. The child is perfect capable of As and Bs. We all have a bad day, so even and occasional 'below 70' doesn't bother us. We just want the child to study and do the homework.

6. Bribery works, I need to instill this value without bribes. It worked with the multiplication fact. I bought single serving glass bottle orange soda, and told the child he couldn't get the soda until the child came home with a grade of an 85 or higher on a math test.



7. Consequences (no tv/electronics) do not bother the child. The child is creative, the child can amuse himself with a paper clip.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Old posts from Opine Editorials and "The Great Disruption"


I want to thank John E. for the discussion at Alexandra, who asks
"“What is offensive is the claim that this is the only reason a couple should be allowed to register themselves with the State as a married couple is because children might result from their union.”
It was nicely wording on how I weigh the issue.
The issue as I see it “Do I risk offending you (or others), to advocate for the needs and rights of children?”
My conscience says I must advocate matrimony was meant for the expectant need of children conceived from a man and a woman, even though it may be a rough journey ahead for me. “lex et veritas” is what they taught me in law school, and I will abide by that.
I was reviewing old posts and the view hits from Opine Editorials, a collaborative on the issue of marriage. Almost all of my posts were child and the affects of divorce and fatherless, in regards to marriage. I notice because I didn't reference gay marriage often, that my posts compared to others didn't get the same hits. I tried to take a view, that prior to the recent events of the decade that marriage really did mean something.

While many of my posts had low viewing, the most popular posts in the entire blog was 'How to make a kinship chart' and "Why everyone needs a full and complete kinship chart". Some posts feel so surreal, citing the concern for the decline in marriage and reference articles from 1999, pre-gay marriage debates. As you know if it isn't about gay marriage, then it isn't about marriage at all in 2014.

That's why my post 'Untitled for a Reason' has that title. I can't reference the solution as marriage, because then I'm stating marriage is about ensuring a child having a relationship with both biological mom and dad.

For those who may not remember how we use to speak about marriage, and how I use to remember how we use to talk about marriage public policy as a political science student and as a law student. It was a real conversation. Then there was The Great Disruption" a nice conversation there from May 2010 over at Opine.

Men Behaving Badly, excerpt from Francis Fukuyama's The Great Disruption Atlantic Monthly May 1999.
ALTHOUGH the role of mother can safely be said to be grounded in biology, the role of father is to a great degree socially constructed. In the words of the anthropologist Margaret Mead, "Somewhere at the dawn of human history, some social invention was made under which males started nurturing females and their young." The male role was founded on the provision of resources; "among human beings everywhere [the male] helps provide food for women and children." Being a learned behavior, the male role in nurturing the family is subject to disruption.....

When we put kinship and family in this context, it is easier to understand why nuclear families have started to break apart at such a rapid rate over the past two generations. The family bond was relatively fragile, based on an exchange of the woman's fertility for the man's resources. Prior to the Great Disruption, all Western societies had in place a complex series of formal and informal laws, rules, norms, and obligations to protect mothers and children by limiting the freedom of fathers to simply ditch one family and start another. Today many people have come to think of marriage as a kind of public celebration of a sexual and emotional union between two adults, which is why gay marriage has become a possibility in the United States and other developed countries. But it is clear that historically the institution of marriage existed to give legal protection to the mother-child unit, and to ensure that adequate economic resources were passed from the father to allow the children to grow up to be viable adults.
To requote:
" by limiting the freedom of fathers to simply ditch one family and start another."
In one of the past Alexandria comments.
Marriage in a ‘social capital’ context is the insurance a man won’t bail, when you get pregnant even with an unplanned pregnancy. That is when men typically bail in a non-married situation. Sure some married men bail, but you won’t get far and you are easier to track down. Romantic love gets you bed, but it a different type of love to deal with the stresses of children together.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

A Decade in Blogging (IV)

Note: I use to write! Oh, wow. This was written eight years ago. I particularly like about what I loved about college and law school. Plus the lies of Day Light Savings Time!

Sunday, February 19, 2006
Law, Philosophy, and the Catholic Religion

I was reading up on the latest law review journal from the Massachusetts Bar Association, regarding the right to have a jury trial as an American citizen and at what point do you lose that right when a citizen engages in belligerent and hostile behavior acting for another government’s military. When does one cross the line from treason, to basically alienating yourself as an American citizen all-together to suit up as an enemy combatant? What if you are acting for a terrorist group, in which there is not government or military? Anyways very good insight on the history of the right for a jury trial, I gobble up the history part of law.

What I like about law and lawyering was processes. It is all about how you get there. Back in college while taking a philosophy class, the professor in her first lecture made point to something that greatly concerned her, which was moral relativism. This was back in 98’-99’ years before Pope Benedict 16th made it a focal point regarding evil in the world. She wasn’t Catholic, but she would cringe when a student would say, there was your reality and my reality. The point of philosophy was to find truth, not to waver or waffle and give up by saying you live by your set of rules and I live by mine. We all live by nature’s rules, or as I what I call as a Catholic by God’s rules, He created earth as in natural law.

In law school law professors notice the same trend with law students unable to grasp the outcome of cases that seemed unfair. What was fair though, was the rule applied evenly even if the outcome seemed unjust. Laws aren’t set forth in stone, laws change every day to the whim of whoever. So exemptions can be made, laws can be rewritten, or completely repealed.

Think about how we legislate day light savings time, we don’t make the day any longer, but we fool ourselves for half the year. We can’t physically make the sun stay out for an hour later. So we make a law to fudge the clock, to spring forward in April and fall back in October. Today lobbyists (golfing industry and manufacturers of grills and barbeques) fight to make daylight savings time even longer, and if they could have it year round. Whether the sun goes down at 8pm or 9pm in June there will be 14+ hours of sunlight, our natural biological clocks tell us to sleep at night. But we make up a law in an attempt to make feel like we are staying up later.

Laws are to represent the truth, not fool us that what we are doing is ok.

I had thought about this earlier, but I decided to write these thoughts down about what I like about my Faith. Many people see the Catholic Church as a bunch rules, that stifle one’s freedom. But we are not free from the natural consequences of our behavior, that one way or another scar us and cuts off our ability to love, and we become hostile to others and self absorbed. The Catholic Church is the love that teaches us to understand our behavior in the constrained world of natural law.

The Catholic Church and one’s relationship with God is more about gifts to us. The seven Sacraments: Baptism, Reconciliation, Communion, Confirmation, Marriage, Anointing of the Sick, and Holy Orders are gifts. But for the non-Catholic or non-practicing Catholic I see these gifts as Rights I have with God.

You have a right to have a relationship with God through Baptism. You have a right to come to the table and participate in Communion, of course there might be impediments, but those can easily be dealt with if you choose. You have a Right enter into the Church as an adult with understanding of what it means to be Catholic through Confirmation.

You have the Right to be married within the Church. The usual impediment is that you already exercise this Right either within or out of the Church, but if the marriage was not a Sacrament or there was a defect at the time you have a right to have an annulment hearing in front of a tribunal. What was commonly referred to as “last rites”, is Anointing of the Sick” in which spirituality is a part of the healing process. The Holy Orders in which men can hold a vocation as a priest or deacon to lead us in the Word of God.

Holy Orders seem controversial for those who might be secular and see that there is no difference in femininity and masculinity. But a priest’s role is exactly that, as a father. I think about the priests and deacons I’ve known personally, even though they have distinct personalities all carry very masculine traits in how they lead. The Catholic Church as a whole body takes a more feminine emphasis. That’s why we refer to a man taking Holy Orders to marry the Church.

This recognition of that unique emphasis that both men and women are created in the image of God is why we value sexual intercourse as sacred. When a man and woman come together it is unifying both emphases of God. The completion of the sexual act with mutual giving of oneself is the love of God. Anything less is taking away from that love He has given us. And taking away from the natural consequences of that act, whether it be the natural outcome of children or even denying orgasm, is taking away from that love.

I guess what my favorite Sacrament is reconciliation. God is so merciful, but people are afraid to take advantage of His love. To have the ability to reflect and understand that there is a right and a wrong, and that you have been led astray for so long by false promises, and to give to God all that pain.

People are so caught up in a spiritual mess nowadays, people are misguided about their Rights and fooled that they are permanently damned. No one said acknowledging everything you ever did as will be exactly fun, but to live on this Earth with sober eyes and recognize there is a right and a wrong, a good and a evil, is empowering and frightening at the same time. As humans we do commit acts of sin. We’re not gods and when we try to go beyond the constrained reality of natural laws there will always be consequences for that.

I can’t believe I just wrote all of that that.

Monday, January 20, 2014

All I asked was "Who was Dan Rourke" (Part Seven)

Lynne from Left in Lowell mentions the Boston Globe probation story, that caught my eye back on October 30th prior to the city elections

The Boston Globe indicated family members, but failed to do so for the Golden-Rourke donations. In my initial Rourke posting, I updated it noting that they were cousins as an explanation for the contributions over the time period.

Untitled For A Reason.



Saturday, January 18, 2014

"lex et veritas"

The discussion over there on the issue, which goes into the recent comments by the governor of New York on pro-lifers.

But instead we talk about the 180 differences on marriage.

There is no government Department of Bed Checking. If two people want to entangle their affairs through marriage for any reason, then that’s their business. -John E.

But the government is in the business of ensuring that the father’s name is on the birth certificate, married or not. How the government treats the father and his obligation is based on the marital status with the mother. So yes, if a baby is involved. It definitely bed checks! -Renee A. (me)

Thursday, January 16, 2014

7QT "lex et veritas"

More Quick Takes at Jen's Conversion Diary

1. My law degree I earned back in 2002.



2. In the reflection is the dining room chandelier with a few planets that glow in the dark.

3. When I entered Massachusetts School of Law in September 1999, I wasn't even engaged. Within three years I was married with my first child, by graduation.

4. "lex et veritas" translated into English is "Truth in Law". Best guess.

5. This week my grandmother passed, and I was asked a specific question at her bedside. It wasn't an important issue, but it was to her. Enough for her ask the question. I could of easily fibbed to the 105 year old woman, who at this point could barely take a sip of water without coughing it back up. Her cognitive state was clear, she knew who I was and she knew what she was asking.

My children were there, and I constantly remind them the importance of truth. Your integrity means something, and with a trusted adult you should tell the truth. If you feel it is a situation you rather not speak, then tell them you don't want to talk instead of lying. I wasn't about to fib to my grandmother, even if temporarily it would of given her comfort.

6. We lie. We're liars. We tell ourselves and others fibs everyday. They give use comfort or divert a conversation we don't want to have. Terms like 'choice', 'equality', 'dignity' have become white lies, they constantly comfort us as we deny a truth and redirects us. But we don't have Alzheimer's. Life begins at conception, life is created from the sexual act between a man and a woman, and life has a natural end even if takes some time before the individual passes.

How is it really favorable to our well being to lie to ourselves? That these realities don't matter. Short-term. Yes, but we can't properly solve problems if everything we're doing results in us having to lie to ourselves and others.


7. For all I know, I'm a liar too. I probably repeat the same lies all the time to myself, I actually believe them. Even though I go to confession once a year, something about having a copy of "an examination of conscience" lying around the house helps to keep myself more in check. My children can attest that I use profanity less often when I'm frustrated, and I catch myself (even after the fact) when I use profanity.

Friday, January 10, 2014

The Nativity at City Hall (Decade in Blogging Post)

Government* can't have it both ways, it can't promote 'culture' then say what is or isn't culture.

This week on Facebook
"So the city moved the Nativity display off of public property (after 75 years), because some one complained. In previous years they constructed a Buddhist altar on JFK plaza for Khmer New Year. Many of times Khmer New Year falls during Catholic Holy Week, I'm fasting while my neighbors celebrate. City and state parks are used for days for religious festivals. Who ever complained be consistent! http://library.uml.edu/clh/cam/Cambw2.htm
"

Monday, February 17 2007 on my old blog "Up On Christian Hill"

Culture rather being something of one’s identity is something to one does for the entertainment of others.
One of my favorite shows is Globe Trekker on PBS. I’m a cultural junkie and I love documentaries, but Globe Trekker though is more then a documentary it encourages tourism. Back in the day documentaries preserved the people way of life, but the basis of Globe trekker is to actually have individuals who know little to nothing to visit these places as an experience. I honestly feel that tourism doesn’t preserve culture, but exploits and mocks it.
Customs and traditions are not for the original intent within the community, but to be performed at the delight of individuals.

Lowell prides itself on culture, it even has a National Park to preserve culture and yet we can't find any creative option to allow the Nativity on public property, as an expression of religious freedom. For many our culture is inherently tied to our religious belief, including and protecting the lack of religious beliefs. All or nothing, if 'all' then that includes religious expression. Yes, even baby Jesus gets a spot on public property.


* I understand where the City Solicitor's situation. She is just telling Council what is allowed and not allowed by current cases. My statements are a personal view, not a legal analysis of current case law.

7QT "A Child's Voice"

More Quick Takes at Jen's Conversion Diary

1. "A Child's Voice" This email was received while I was at DCF today. It came from the continuing legal ed here in Massachusetts. Courts and politicians say one thing in public for the media and lobbyists , but the policy on the street is a whole different story. As stated in a foster review "Massachusetts is big on kinship."

2. Marriage Promotion Has Failed to Stem Poverty Among Single Moms
It's easy to see why marriage promotion is appealing, Williams said: About 46 percent of children in single-mother households were living in poverty in 2013, compared to 11 percent of children living with two married parents.
The relationship has to develop before the baby, not the other way around. There are couples who definitely have the relationship, but happen not to be married. But it seems fewer and fewer relationships have matured to the point they are ready to have children to pregnancy came too soon to determine if the relationship has matured enough.

3. How do we address the problem though?
In fact, research shows that single mothers living in impoverished neighborhoods are likely to marry men who won't help them get out of poverty. These men are likely to have children from other partnerships, lack a high school diploma, and have been incarcerated or have substance abuse problems, Williams noted.

We both agree that these men are not marriageable, but this is where I disagree with her. Her focus is on the needs of single moms, but what about the needs of men to make them more marriageable. It seems the problems lies there.

Instead the study suggests more government programs to stop poor women from having children, by means of more government sponsored sex education and more government sponsored birth control. It is easy to state, "stop having babies sex with these losers". But we're human, if we don't have a strong social support at home well our pickings may be limited so we choose with the poor options we have.

We need more options, as in marriageable men.

4. Hundred Dollar Rip-Off over at Alexandria, that at least created a wonderful poem on about PMS by Richard.
Cranky, puffy, angry days
Aren’t relieved too many ways
5. Also over at Alexandria, I ask about the poor and interest rates on loans. Why do banks give them higher interest rates?

6. The Earliest Known Image of the Virgin Mary
(Circa 150 CE)



7. Other then that, I've taken an interest in 'Divorce Corp'. It's a documentary on the divorce industry. Stay true to your vows everyone, and stay married.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

A Decade in Blogging (III)

Saturday, January 28, 2006
No one really cares, about your silly protest. It's not cute.

As for creating more hoopla, Lynn from "Left in Lowell" Posted an interested tidbit from Georgetown Law School. I thought the act itself was rather childish and an act of censorship. Apparently in protest and civil disobedience, the students turned their backs on a speech by Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, regarding issues of privacy and carried out a banner to block the speaker. This type of stuff turns me off.

Instead of reporting on the blog, that Lynn linked to what the speaker had to say and argue with facts and law, the poster just talks about ripping this guy a new "a**hole". The whole things reminds my of calming down my three year old when she is having a temper tantrum, and she just attempts to drown out my attempts with screaming to calm her down.

What usually happens is that I ignore her, until she realizes it isn’t working, and not until she is ready to cool off and listen. I come back we talk. I listen to her. I explain my actions, and she tells me her feelings. I thought civil disobedience was when we boycott, and write letters not drown out people completely, even if it was technically a silent protest, the point was to draw attention away from what was being said by rogue means. That’s censorship.

I know I shouldn’t give this any attention, because it doesn’t deserve it, but I just have to make the observation. People are more interested in just hearing themselves screaming, then to cool off and listen. Here is the article from CNN about the speech and protestors (excuse me, future lawyers), but you can watch Gonzales' speech there.

(2014) Spying is considered normal without any authority. We accept it. Than again we share everything on social media, something that wasn't as widely used or existed. Silent protest, who does that now?

-----------
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Correction and clarification on the Georgetown post

I recieved an e-mail from a law student from the school. He linked a statement from the Dean, who correctly defined censorship in the legal terms and the students despite being mischievous did nothing illegal.

Please read:

http://www.law.georgetown.edu/dean/deanpage/

Might not be censorship, but they are not helping their argument.

As a lawyer, I went to law school and passed the Bar in Massachusetts (More importantly I think in personal bias in my blog, not in terms of legalities), I'm just rather embarrassed that this is how a group who were smart enough to graduate from college be admitted into law school would handle the situation. Their argument was ineffective.

My children are young, and I teach them not to stoop down to such antics that were pulled by the law students. When my husband and I are in a heated discussion, I don’t turn my back on him. We’re adults. We listen. Just as adults who care about our freedom, we need to show the ability to listen with respect to arguments we disagree with, if we want the same respect.

It just turned me off, and our job as lawyers is to persuade. I don’t think they persuaded Attorney General Gonzales at all with their legal, but obnoxious stunt. The American public is the jury, so we have to becareful how we present ourselves.
I should reframe my thoughts, and be happy I live in a free country where people can make a poor display of behavior, where they have to live with the fact of natural consequences where I can judge them for lacking manners

(2014) Their argument was effective, even though nothing was done in terms of their political concerns. We usually use a form rapid response bullying, we use social media now instead of getting off our behinds to have a 'silly protest'. These student today look remarkably proactive with what I called back in winter of 2006 as "a stunt", they physically showed up to protest! "People are more interested in just hearing themselves screaming, then to cool off and listen." The narcissism has increased ten fold in last decade.

Georgetown Law School is known more about not cover free contraception, now a day then protests over illegal wiretaps. In a decade how we fell is amazing.


We’re adults. We listen. Just as adults who care about our freedom, we need to show the ability to listen with respect to arguments we disagree with, if we want the same respect.

You laugh when you read that, right?

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

We all want equality, and this is a great inequality.



I’m pretty obsessed with family structure and outcomes. It is like we speak on two planes of conversations, one is this cultural one that there is no difference all is happy and good. That all structures are fine as a matter of law, and then there is one of public policy. One that underneath, we can’t ignore even in liberal Massachusetts the champion of family equality.

In Massachusetts there we have specific financial advice for single mothers, because there are true economics deficits. There are also social deficits, but it is becoming apparent that any discussion of it becomes way too hostile and single mothers become very defensive about not have the father engage in their children’s lives.

This from The Manhattan Institute.


We all want equality, and this is a great inequality. The problem is I just can’t make a law that everything is equal, as we discuss the other form of marriage equality. The type of equality I search for is actually unattainable if I’m looking for 100%. I want 75%. I think that it's doable. It won’t happen overnight, or even in a decade.

What I’m asking is radical, it comes from the streets and not from the courts.

Maybe in my lifetime?

Monday, January 6, 2014

A Decade in Blogging (II)

Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Oprah is really another Jerry Springer

Shame on me. Shame on me. I was watching Oprah yesterday regarding swingers in the suburbs. Instead of Jerry's unemployed diverse trash, Oprah had successful white upper middle class married couples on her show talking that swinging was perfectly normal, healthy, and good for marriage. Oprah went on to imply that marriage was changing. Just because your educated and have money, apparently makes it anything ok as long as you consent to it. The definition of marriage hasn't changed, people are just in denial of their own divorce.

Swinging can be attractive, imagine over the course of your lifetime you built up a beautiful lifestyle, great material wealth and equity in your home, plus a fat pension or 401k waiting for you. But... But the idea of having sex with your spouse disgusts you. You just hate that ugly thing you spent the past 15-20 years of your life with and resent every moment of it. In swinging you sleep with whoever you want and your spouse can sleep with whoever he want, you get to keep your cars, and your vacation home and save money on divorce lawyers.

Fine but get a divorce, don't lie to my face that you’re married. Marriage is public sign that you are in a committed loving and sexual relationship. Sex is so divorced from marriage as the private sign of committed loving relationship, that they see no problem with sex with strangers, excuse me people that they barely know.

You can see why homosexuals who have been living together in a monogamous relationship are angry for gay marriage. And you can see why many monogamous heterosexuals, who would other wise be against gay marriage throw up their hands and say let the gays have marriage.

These couples are pulling a fraud on the government for benefits and through employers, such as health insurance and retirement plans, while homosexuals are being denied. And that makes it difficult for those making the argument that homosexuality cannot fall into the definition of marriage, when we have heterosexuals making a mockery of it. I know it is controversial but it is to protect marriage, but I suggest calling all legal marriages heterosexual and homosexual civil unions.

(2014) My views on swinging have not changed. Since Oprah retired to focus on her own station and programming, the importance of fathers being their for children and respecting their mothers has been a center point of her popular programming. There is less sensationalism, and more emotion in Oprah's programming. It's creepy that I wrote this nine years ago, BTW.

From Oprah (2013)

"It’s a topic I think that we all experience, but we don’t really talk about with a solution in mind. Everyone talks about single moms. Everyone talks about the difficulties we see young men going through. We’ve made a joke about it in songs. We talk about “baby mama.” We talk about “baby daddy.” We don’t talk about the baby. Fatherless sons are the babies in the midst of the drama between the mother and the father. And they’re dropping out of high school. They’re ending up in jail. They’re killing each other. All of these things are going on. We just seem to have our hands tied. We have to talk about the impact on a young man’s life when his father isn’t there. We have to talk about the humanity, the human qualities, of what happens when a child has a missing parent."

Sunday, January 5, 2014

All I asked was "Who is Dan Rourke" (Part Six)

Jack Mitchell is setting up his own blog, with Lowell Live Feed.

It is under this title posting, because Jack is responsible for it.


Update: Oh, Jack! Staying out of this.

Friday, January 3, 2014

A Decade in Blogging (I)

Monday, December 05, 2005
Unused knowledge
I was skimming through my mother's book on pre-natal care. My mother is an LPN, and has been for the past 35 years. I was reading in the pre-conception chapter, and it graphicly described that a women can pinpoint her own ovulation in her cycle by the change of the cervical mucus threads. It also mentioned in detail the elasticity and length of typical mucus thread to indicate ovulation in a woman. That's natural family planning!

So why isn't this being taught to women and men, as I bang my head against the keyboard. It just drives me nuts. Here is this knowledge that is basic for every nurse in pre-natal care and it is rarely talked about or acknowledge by the medical establishment. As my husband says business is in the business of making money. What are they going to do if women really didn't need the pill?

(2014)My view hasn't changed.

Saturday, November 26, 2005
I don't have the time to make an informed decision
And who does? And do politicians want it that way?

Recent article on Yahoo regarding how few protesters there were for and against the war in Iraq. Right now I fall in the "we need to finish the job" camp, but I wouldn't do anything beyond mentioning it in my blog. And honestly I couldn't give you decent arguments for either side. How am I going to figure out the conflict in the Middle East when I have trouble figuring what is going on in the city.

My husband has supported me in my interest in local concerns, but he says how do you expect someone like him be involved. Many people work on a global economy basis, too busy thinking about his next vendor and end user, not what is going on down the street. Does he care that policy can have a negative effect on us, our peers and nieghbors in Lowell? Yes. But a thousand other things run through his mind on a much larger scale.

(2014)My view hasn't changed, and I'm more involved in local concerns.

7QT Parents Make Good Roommates

More Seven Quick Takes at Jen's Conversion Diary.

1. Parents make good roommates. Seriously.
""36% of Americans ages 18 to 31 now live in their parents’ home, the highest share in at least four decades."
You know they pick up after themselves, and you don't have to move any furniture.

2.If you look at the graph, what is most interesting isn't that the number that is married has been cut in HALF, in replace for other independent living arrangements. Either roommates or cohabitation.

3. Sexual Grief at Alexandria
It wasn’t sexual trauma, I dodge too many bullets in disbelief that I’ve haven’t been a victim of sexual trauma or assault. I actually consented to all of my sexual idiocy.
4. Why we don't judge people based on sexual orientation, as PJ (the commenter) explains.
I was close to a Catholic, testosterone-rich family (a husband and wife with 4 straight sons — all of whom were of dating age and had girlfriends). One particular Thanksgiving I spent with them, I had to hear at least 3 or 4 derogatory references to “fags” during my visit. Meanwhile, all 4 of these young men were sexually active with their girlfriends — outside of wedlock, just to be clear — but not for a moment did any of them feel shame or guilt for their actions, or realize that they were, by church standards, in a state of mortal sin. No, it was only about casting stones at the “fags” from this upstanding (by outward appearances) family.

Meanwhile, THIS “fag” was sitting among them still holding onto his virginity at 40(!), but still thoroughly contemptible in their eyes due to, well, his being a “fag” — something which he cannot even help.

So, there you go. There’s nothing worse, in my opinion, than encountering an avowed Catholic (or Christian) who shamelessly displays hypocrisy, insensitivity and bigotry (the latter being an absence of love).
6. John E. and I try to figure out our differences in the role of government and family structure.
I hold as a basic premise that the local government is here to serve my interests. Starting from this premise, my take is that government marriage recognition is done for reasons that serve my interests.
I disagree, it is done for community interests.

7. On Twitter, there was this photo of a local man wearing a 2000 party hat. We kept a pair of plastic '2000' champagne glasses in the china hutch with 'the nice stuff' on display. The kids don't understand. My daughter thinks the song '1999' was actually written in the year 1999.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Blogging a Decade in Review

I started blogging in November 2005, my former blogs all somehow carried the same themes. My former blogs "Up On Christian Hill" and "End of Nihilism" were never deleted, just set on private. For the next year I will post on a regular basis my favorites and see if my views have changed, but also see how the world has changed in that process.