Monday, December 15, 2014

Follow up to Backlash and "His Real Mother"

I'm not a part of the adoption community, I'm apart of the community that stabilizes families within my own area as their first goal. I've learned a great deal from reading post about adoptees. I should note that indirectly I know of a birth mom, who at the time (not by first choice) gave up her son to adoption many decades ago, at her father's funeral she introduce her son as HER SON.

And this is what gets me, and in fact gets me angry. I've been slandered as a homophobic by the left and not pro-life by the right, despite the fact I would place a child with a gay relative over strangers and well no one has convinced me adoption prevents abortion. Sure living is better then death, but the factors involved are not connected.

I just understand we our lines of kinship follow through both maternal and paternal, and both are equal. The rights of adults end at the rights of children.

In terms of adult adoptees, their rights to identity and knowledge override the desires of non-kin. But why do they have to be adults to assert this right and why are we taking away this right at the time of adoption*?

I hope the original writer does not mind my reposting her Facebook status.

"Upworthy posted some crap on their page about how we ought to make gay-couple adoption legal across the board so that we can "increase" adoptions. I commented:-----
Actually, what we need more of in this country is better support for families of origin so that children don't have to be removed in the first place. I read about a study involving, I think, Florida and West Virginia in which poor families were simply given more resources--food, help with rent, whatever it was. Abuse and neglect rates plummeted. The myth goes that parents who abuse their kids are just sadistic psychopaths unfit to raise a child, when actually a whole lot of them are under severe stress and not strictly rational anymore. Our answer so far has been to strip them of their children and give them no help, which traumatizes the children, puts them at risk of abuse in foster homes and poverty when they're old enough to be on their own,
AND creates risk for any future children the parents have because the basic problem has not been solved.


*Not all adoption is wrong, there are circumstances in which parents are not in a good mental/health state to raise children and efforts for a kinship placement are not present for the child.

To read more about the backlash the link is here.

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