Thursday, October 23, 2014

7QT Talking about marriage in reality, not in abstract

More Quick Takes at Jens Conversion Diary

1.  I had a conversation with a working professional divorced mom this week. A good one. A non controversial one, the type the Synod of the Family wanted to address.

2. Why are we failing at 'family' at this rate? Even those in which families are not completely under one roof, realize this is a problem. We relate to the personal/private situations, but why can't we reverse the trends that lead to divorce.  Even divorced/never married wanted healthy relationships. Even they are hesitate to remarry, they don't desire to divorce again.

3. I told her, I fear divorce. That I treat divorced like a virus, that can be catched. She understood.

Pastorally as lay people. Married need to help divorce people heal, but how can we prevent the 'virus' effect?


"Although cultural evolution operates by very different mechanisms than genetic evolution, many biological patterns are present. Cultures mutate, reproducing varying versions of themselves by generational transmission and spread, experience differential reproductive success (selection), and sometimes go extinct. They are dependent on their human hosts, or symbiotes, a population they both change and are changed by. And we are dependent on them."

Excellent paper on how cultures influence our fertility patterns. Odd choice of terms. Human hosts?

5. Search "marriage" and "parents" on Twitter and you can find some nice tweets from young adults. 

6. Almost half of children born today will see their parents separate by their 16th birthday, and many fathers do...


Monday, October 13, 2014

Another pending divorce

My mom called me yesterday and informed me of another person we know going through a divorce. She saw the soon-to-be divorcee's mother at the supermarket and talked. He now lives with his mother, while the wife and three kids live in the marital home.

Divorce use to have a sense something really was wrong in the relationship, now.... meh... He wasn't happy or something.

Like said I'm concern about what I see in our communities, not the courts. It isn't good.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

7QT Is that frog cooked, yet? #synod14

More Quick Takes at Jen's Conversion Diary

1. Focused on the brokenness of the family here in Lowell, I haven't really followed the actions of the Supreme Court too closely.

Why? The sky has already fallen, look at the ground. 

2. Absence of marriage is a perfect economic-legal-media storm, isn't? I don't think secular culture cares about the adult-centered version of marriage either. Maybe weddings.. And that's mostly the parents, not the bride and groom.

3. A tweet of mine was favorited by 4 people in France, I guess there was a rally for the family there this week.

"What if the #media reported #fatherless and #family breakdown, but we #ignored it? "

Looking back, as a society we did.

4. I'm a big fan of PBS's Finding Your Roots. " When anyone uses sperm/egg donation, sealed adoption, or other means to hide kin from a person for your own personal want... well we need to reconsider the practice. No matter who you are, race or sexual orientation, we have an natural interest in our identity. Even African Americans of slave decent can trace to what ethnic tribe in Africa with DNA, but it's more then DNA it's the stories."

5. So is marriage cooked? How did we let it slide downard for so long in America? I'm not sure what Americans even care about? I'm talking America, not necessarily other parts of the world. 

6. It really does seem we have to start from scratch on this. Nothing will be salvaged. 

7. From the Ruth Blog, very humbling.

"It is not their fault: why I am not angry at the lesbians suing the sperm bank"

"Ms. Cramblett is not a celebrity lesbian.  She does not have a law degree or work for a prestigious activist organization or have a TV show. She works at an ATT store. I do not see any of the Establishment Gay Legal organizations hovering around her case. (I’m guessing they would find her case slightly embarrassing to their liberal pieties.) Her attorney, Thomas Intili, seems to be a local personal injury lawyer.
No, Ms. Cramblett and her friend Amanda Zinkon appear to be just folks. Ms. Cramblett was trying to order her life around the Modern Family Narrative.
When the Elites said that “love makes a family,” she believed them.  “Genetic connections are over-rated.”  “Kids don’t really need mothers and fathers.”  “No harm will come from using a commercial sperm donor.” “You are entitled to become a mother, even if you never intend to have a relationship with the child’s father.” “

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

"Finding Your Roots"

One of the guests tonight was Anderson Cooper, who is umm... gay. Normally that would be irrelevant, but whenever we now talk marriage it isn't an institution to discover the links of our ancestors.

Documentation means something, not for us, but for our descendants. It is common that those of African-American decent to have their paper trail run dry in the 1870s. Cooper who's ancestor owned slaves (and was killed in a slave revolt) was sick to his stomach that slaves were nameless in documents.... When anyone uses sperm/egg donation, sealed adoption, or other means to hide kin from a person for your own personal want... well we need to reconsider the practice. No matter who you are, race or sexual orientation, we have an natural interest in our identity. Even African Americans of slave decent can trace to what ethnic tribe in Africa with DNA, but it's more then DNA it's the stories.

OK.... Related, because shouldn't we document gay relationships?

As long as it it is not on a false premise, such as a person having two two moms or two dads. Eve Tushnet points out.  

"Yesterday we blessed pets for Pete’s sake, so why not the people you love? You’ll bless a cat who loves me “like a glutton loves his lunch,” but no blessing for friends or chosen family? But here I’m more interested in hearing your ideas. Where have you seen extrafamilial sacrificial love honored publicly? Where and how would you like to see it honored?"

Added: When I speak of gay relationships, it is not approval or endorsement of sexual behavior, rather the relationship itself. Really hard people to understand that at times. 

Monday, October 6, 2014

Agamy and the absence of marriage

A perfect economic-legal-media storm, isn't ?

Rates are down in people marrying.

Laws are now obsolete in promoting a child being raised by both parents with marriage or anything

Internet and headlines.... Don't help.

IUDs (foreign objects inserted into young women) are being recommended at a national level by government agencies. Because the stability and function of the family is no longer present.

This being a Catholic blog, I prayed the rosary for the synod.

This being a public policy blog, there is still a lot work that can be done ensuring that children will be cared and loved by their own families, and that children will not be objectified or denied their rights to maternal and paternal relationships.

This being a local blog, I have immediate concern for the wellbeing of families in my neighborhood.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

7QT I read everyone else's 7QT, do you?

More 7QT over at Jen's Conversion Diary

1. I read them. I do most on Fridays, and then I catch up with the later 7QTs.

I don't have a lot in common, maybe four years ago when my kids were younger. I rarely talk about my children on my blog. But I will in this 7QT. When I blogged it was a time away from my children and to post non-children thoughts.

I feel like a rarity, but that is OK. I just didn't realize how old I am now.

 Good news is I think you're all more interesting than what is on TV.

2.  I prayed at a graduation party. No. We prayed at a graduation party. You have to understand what a wonderful experience it was. A neighbor was graduating with her RN, our daughters are friends so I would always be there to help just pick up the kids when she was in class. She was so thankful to everyone that came, and for her family. Which was large on both sides. I was jealous. I told my husband we should be praying at graduation parties as well.

3. "Like in the pro-life movement people need to see marriage support not just in public policy, but on the ground -WilcoxNMP"

4. Ummm. I got side tracked. I had to type up my son's book report. I promise I did not write it, just typed. But he's in 5th grade and he needs typing lessons.


6. My daughter needed a real physical book (the ones you can touch and have to open up to read) to cite for her report, but the library closed at 4:30 and she had three plus hours of dance. She was home sick earlier this week and was unaware of the text requirement. Since I'm old and I know how to find books in the library. Yeah, I just got it myself. 

7.  It's 8pm. Dinner plates are still on the table. But it's evidence I made dinner.