Monday, September 22, 2014

Because adoption doesn’t cure fatherlessness.

Another old post from Opine Editorials 

Volunteering at The Department of Children of Families, I get to sit in on foster care reviews. I witness wonderful people helping families, including foster parents of differing households. Single adults, couples with adult children, yes even older gay couples. To be a foster parent or adopt, marriage is not a prerequisite, even unmarried partners are eligible to apply.

85% of children receive services, while living with their own families. The children in foster care usually return to their parents within 3 months. Of course due to safety, some children can not be returned to their parents, and are placed under guardianship or adopted to a family member. If that is not possible, we keep siblings together. Sometimes siblings must be placed in separate homes due to certain
circumstances, but DCF finds ways to keep connectivity.

These children have parents; they may be addicted to drugs, mentally ill, incarcerated, or deceased. Yes in some cases there is physical and sexual abuse, but not all cases. (Don’t worry, these are treated differently!) For other children, they can have supervised visits with parents, and foster/adoptive parents must respectful of the fact this child lost his/her family. As adults, children are free to have relationships with their parents on their own terms.


These children need safe places to live and adults they can trust. These children are not for up for adoption to cure your infertility, or to legitimize your personal relationship with another person, and adoption isn’t for you to hoard and pride yourself what a saint you are.

Expanding the type of households, that can apply to adopt, doesn’t address the issue of fatherlessness in our communities. The only thing that can solve fatherlessness is a healthy relationship between a mother and father. Once upon a time, we use to refer to this as marriage.

6 comments:

  1. Our family is finishing up our first fostering experience this Friday. We've had our young ward four months.

    And today I come to find your post here, where right in the middle you drop a big old "Poop on those folks doing the actual work of taking care of the kids who need a safe place," paragraph.

    Tell you what - you go out there and fix 'fatherlessness' and my family will know when you've got that all taken care of when there aren't any more kids who need our help.

    But in the meantime, how about you not making snide assumptions about why people like us are doing what we do? Okay? Thanks...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Umm... I wasn't dumping on foster parents, just public perception that adoption solves the problem!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. First paragraph....

    "I witness wonderful people helping families, including foster parents of differing households. Single adults, couples with adult children, yes even older gay couples. "

    ReplyDelete
  4. "I wasn't dumping on foster parents...."

    Oh?

    "These children are not for up for adoption to cure your infertility, or to legitimize your personal relationship with another person, and adoption isn’t for you to hoard and pride yourself what a saint you are."

    There was no need for the above paragraph. None at all...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, there is. Why? Because of Christian conservatives and their view that children are there for them, and not the other way around.

      Delete
  5. "These children are not for up for adoption to cure your infertility,"

    Must be nice when you can easily pop out children while you sit around and judge other's.

    ReplyDelete