Tuesday, July 8, 2014

The high maintenance cost of sexual liberation

I assume when she is referencing herself at the age of 31, it is the early/mid 1980s

Older People: Having Sex, Getting Diseases By 

"My newly divorced 31-year-old self was on the pill so I didn't even consider asking a man to wear a condom. Then, after I'd been single for about six months I saw a report on the news about the rise in cases of herpes. I was surprised and frustrated. I'd been so excited about my new sexual freedom, and now I realized I could catch genital warts. My single girlfriends and I talked about this, wondering what we should do. When we go out with someone new do we say, "please pass the salt and oh by the way do you have herpes?"
Now to be completely transparent (as if I haven't already been) I didn't initially consider that my partner might be having sex with others at the same time he was having sex with me (I know, so naïve of me) and the problems this could cause. This point was brought up by my gynecologist during an annual appointment. What a revelation! Of course the test didn't mean anything if he had sex with someone else between when he showed me his results and before having sex with me again. So, calling in the "big girl pants" again, I now had to learn how to have the "monogamy conversation" (with him and myself).
She does go on to give the proper advice, but why are we as women (and men) getting the idea of such high risk behavior in the first place that one needs to be coached? 

Monogamy and celibacy are perfectly good options, it doesn't mean one is lonely. 

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