Sunday, June 15, 2014

Fathers are not sperm donors, and mothers are not breeders.

While I'm thrilled with the multitude of conversations that  fathers are extremely important, I regret to write something less then positive. My anger isn't against the couple, but the doctors and law makers that make this perfectly acceptable to deny a child its mother.

5 Dads Dish on Parenting in Boston

.After the amazing experience of being in the room while our surrogate was having a scheduled C-section and all the emotions that go along with those precious moments, I remember being in the room with Gio and just holing him in my arms. It was so surreal—and still is when I look at our son, that he is truly ours, and that we have this voluntary responsibility to nurture and care for this little guy forever.
What has surprised you most about fatherhood?That our society and culture is still in a transitional period when they hear that we are raising Gio as a two father family unit. It shocks many people that he does not have a mother. I am confident that the nurturing and love we surround him with is all that he needs. All I say to everyone is that it boils down to the human being that will nurture a child regardless of gender, beliefs etc.

No. It shocks people that the law allows our bodies to be contracted out for money for the purposes of creating a child, as if the child was a customized product.  It shocks people that a mother can sell offspring and a woman can rent out her womb and voluntarily walk away from her responsibility for compensation. The child is denied the right to grieve for the lost of his mother.

The shock isn't that the couple is two men, but rather the denial of the mother. The same shock occurs when a man and woman use a surrogate/donor eggs/sperm. The shock applies equally. The doctors are not engaging in medicine, they are not treating infertility they are using other people fertility to create a child that is preemptively denied all rights to know and be raise and loved by paternal and maternal kin. What they are engaged in is human trafficking, it doesn't matter how much a couple may love and nurture the child, half of what that is is denied to that child intentionally for money.


*Biological kinship is important, that if a child can not be raised by his/her biological parents, I have no issue with a gay aunt/uncle raising their nieces and nephews. 

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