Friday, April 25, 2014

7QT "UPDATE" Explaining STDs to a 12 year old

More Quick Takes at Conversion Diary

1. Last year I had a popular 7QT on STDs. A year later the same subject.

2. We switched to a female doctor in the practice at my daughter's request. I also had my daughter check in herself and fill out the forms. I was in the room with her, but I had to speak as much as possible.

3. She didn't care for the paper johnny and waiting for 15 minutes.

4. The HPV vaccine came up. We had a good conversation. We talked about the window in which obtaining the virus is most prevalent, but also the reality that it is unlikely for a college student to come back every two months for the full three shots.

5. 14 years of age is more of an ideal age for the vaccine if it is chosen. The pediatrician in her practice knew of no adverse reactions personally, but was aware of the concern.

6. The benefits of abstinence and monogamy are real, but it is about having an ongoing conversation with you children about relationships and emotions. Even at an age in which they personalities and maturity are clearly not there and everyone is in that middle school obnoxious stage really matters.

7. Earlier this week, one of her male classmates made a snotty comment that she had a 'hand me down'. No one sent me the memo, that all eleven year olds MUST have their own phone that is new. I told her to forgive him and that the boy will one day grow up to be a caring person. Also it was a good lesson, that if ever a guy speaks to you that manner later in life, run away!


  1. Yay for conversations, relationships, and emotions! But I will reiterate what I wrote a year ago, too. Yes, you be chaste (not just abstinent, b/c of skin-to-skin contact spread), but try really really really hard to find a husband who has been too. Otherwise you might feel like you have to have adult conversations at a pre-marital appointment with questions like "So how expensive is it now that insurance won't cover me? (about age 26)" and "Does anything about my adult physiology make the vaccine effective?" Of course, this is all provided in the decade our teens do become adults, more research can more definitively point to very low long-term effects or surprising long-term effects.

    1. We are probably going to get the vaccine at 14. It was a bit of a public relations disaster to consider that girls as young as 9 should get the vaccine. If the recommendations was 12-15, there wouldn't be as much criticism.

  2. Thanks for this series, btw. Found you through today's 7QT, and with a pair of 11 yo girls and their well child visit coming up, yours is a good perspective to have.

  3. Because I had a very secular media/progressive sex ed when I was in middle school 25 years ago, I'm trying to balance being informative with an obvious sheltered life my kids have. I straight out tell my daughter, 'you realize I shelter you guys'. I can't even go though the grocery checkout without dealing with Cosmo. As of now InStyle magazine has no 'sex tips' on the publications, even though some of the advertising is weird according to my daughter.