Up On Christian Hill
Saturday, March 14, 2009
When life was a given
While my daughter was at ballet class, I stopped in at the local Market Basket to pick up a few items. I wasn’t rushing, but I knew what I needed and was moving along. An older man, well over the age of retirement wearing a green Market Basket smock striked up a conversation as we were both going to the express lane, mentioning how quick I was. I informed I had four kids, so I make most of my time when I’m without them.
“Don’t you have a TV?” He asked.
I know this is a common saying from older people, prior to the Pill, my uncle told me after our third child that we liked sex a lot, but not as much as him who had seven. I told the older worker we didn’t have cable though. He them went on to talk about his own sex life.
To find out he was one of 14 children, but when he was married his wife couldn’t get pregnant while all of his sisters kept on having babies. Every time his wife found out, she would cry. Eventually she got pregnant, had a miscarriage, but only to find out she was still pregnant afterwards apparently a case of vanishing twin syndrome. They had a second child ten years later.
Then he told me a story of a town that had lots of children, and no one knew why the town was so fertile. To find out there was a train that passed through at 5am that woke everyone up, and since it was too early to start the day and there was no morning news at the time people were left with few options.
Why am I telling you this?
When sex is always presented in procreation form, open to life, it isn’t dirty and no need to be discreet.
When sex is open to life it’s always beautiful to be shared and express, even in sadness of miscarriage and infertility, and even with strangers.
Born in the late 70s and one of two, and now simply an only child since my brother’s passing I knew no one in school who came from a large family, a few with three, and many whose parents were divorced. Everyone was planned and family size reduced for material benefit. Sex education wasn’t present to learn and understand to value our fertility, but rather systematically suppress it at all costs.
We as planned children though at times weren’t seen as human beings; instead we were another want like an SUV or another status symbol for parents to brag about our accomplishments whether be artistic, academic, or athletic. Well, I don’t play a musical instrument, can’t throw a ball, don’t know calculus, and probably the grammar in this note stinks. I’m a eugenics nightmare, never mind I’m a carrier for cystic fibrosis with a family history of heart disease, stroke, and breast cancer.
I only knew of one large family in the neighborhood. They had eight, but all of their children were much older then my brother and myself. The lived in a ranch with no addition, not even a garage. The youngest was in high school when I was a girl, the second youngest baby sat on many of occasions. Now with four children, we get a range of comments. Either people get argumentative that you should have stopped a long time age or people tell stories much like this older gentleman. Sex being open to life should be a given whether it be 14 or two.
Felt the need to share myself.