I want to thank John E. for the discussion at Alexandra, who asks
"“What is offensive is the claim that this is the only reason a couple should be allowed to register themselves with the State as a married couple is because children might result from their union.”It was nicely wording on how I weigh the issue.
The issue as I see it “Do I risk offending you (or others), to advocate for the needs and rights of children?”I was reviewing old posts and the view hits from Opine Editorials, a collaborative on the issue of marriage. Almost all of my posts were child and the affects of divorce and fatherless, in regards to marriage. I notice because I didn't reference gay marriage often, that my posts compared to others didn't get the same hits. I tried to take a view, that prior to the recent events of the decade that marriage really did mean something.
My conscience says I must advocate matrimony was meant for the expectant need of children conceived from a man and a woman, even though it may be a rough journey ahead for me. “lex et veritas” is what they taught me in law school, and I will abide by that.
While many of my posts had low viewing, the most popular posts in the entire blog was 'How to make a kinship chart' and "Why everyone needs a full and complete kinship chart". Some posts feel so surreal, citing the concern for the decline in marriage and reference articles from 1999, pre-gay marriage debates. As you know if it isn't about gay marriage, then it isn't about marriage at all in 2014.
That's why my post 'Untitled for a Reason' has that title. I can't reference the solution as marriage, because then I'm stating marriage is about ensuring a child having a relationship with both biological mom and dad.
For those who may not remember how we use to speak about marriage, and how I use to remember how we use to talk about marriage public policy as a political science student and as a law student. It was a real conversation. Then there was The Great Disruption" a nice conversation there from May 2010 over at Opine.
Men Behaving Badly, excerpt from Francis Fukuyama's The Great Disruption Atlantic Monthly May 1999.
ALTHOUGH the role of mother can safely be said to be grounded in biology, the role of father is to a great degree socially constructed. In the words of the anthropologist Margaret Mead, "Somewhere at the dawn of human history, some social invention was made under which males started nurturing females and their young." The male role was founded on the provision of resources; "among human beings everywhere [the male] helps provide food for women and children." Being a learned behavior, the male role in nurturing the family is subject to disruption.....To requote:
When we put kinship and family in this context, it is easier to understand why nuclear families have started to break apart at such a rapid rate over the past two generations. The family bond was relatively fragile, based on an exchange of the woman's fertility for the man's resources. Prior to the Great Disruption, all Western societies had in place a complex series of formal and informal laws, rules, norms, and obligations to protect mothers and children by limiting the freedom of fathers to simply ditch one family and start another. Today many people have come to think of marriage as a kind of public celebration of a sexual and emotional union between two adults, which is why gay marriage has become a possibility in the United States and other developed countries. But it is clear that historically the institution of marriage existed to give legal protection to the mother-child unit, and to ensure that adequate economic resources were passed from the father to allow the children to grow up to be viable adults.
" by limiting the freedom of fathers to simply ditch one family and start another."In one of the past Alexandria comments.
Marriage in a ‘social capital’ context is the insurance a man won’t bail, when you get pregnant even with an unplanned pregnancy. That is when men typically bail in a non-married situation. Sure some married men bail, but you won’t get far and you are easier to track down. Romantic love gets you bed, but it a different type of love to deal with the stresses of children together.