Monday, April 29, 2013

NBA stars tackle 'fatherless crisis"

Edited to add: Meanwhile the Internet is a buzz, for something else in the NBA. It's terrible to think 9 months ago when this segment came out on CNN, this story didn't get the same buzz. People don't care. I received a call from a political campaign today, and I said I couldn't vote for thw candidate because no one has addressed the issue of fatherless in our communities, and nicely he responded that there wasn't any public policy that could be done about it.

Today at the Department of Children & Families I witness first hand children being stabilized and reunited with their biological family, maybe it was just one parent or an extended family member. We spoke openly on the loss of one parent or both, and the need of therapy and services (on taxpayer dime) for that loss and the anger. It was something that healthy marriages were suppose to prevent, but if dare suggest this I'm labeled some of the worst possible things in the world that you're bigot and against equality.

To be honest, in really has taken a toll of such a burden I will have to personally accept the ramifications to the end. Whatever that end it happens to be. Out of the Apostles, only one died a natural death. In one way other another, they were crucified or martyred. So in terms of history, things don't ever go well for us. It is correct that public opinion isn't on 'my side'. But I don't see it as 'my side', I don't own the truth as mine. For some odd reason everyone wants to ignore that truth. It's there, it's everywhere. The truth is spiraling and falling apart, my feeds are being clogged with the other buzz. It's noise. It's a distraction, and if I redirect people to the real issue it isn't out of ignorance or hatred. Rather the opposite. Am I courageous?

Saturday, April 27, 2013

What happened to marriage in Rhode Island?

Rhode Island is currently pushing through a bill to redefine marriage, but what is important are other elements that are not discussed that lead the state to such a decision.

Over 70% of children living in poverty in Rhode Island are from single parent homes, a significant factor in poverty is whether or not a child lives with both parents in Rhode Island. But in the Public Policy briefing from Providence Business News: ECONOMIC INDICATORS R.I.'s child population declines, poverty rises,

“Rhode Island is one of the states leading the nation when it comes to building a strong system of support for its young children,” Lombardi said. “From improving quality to investing in evidence-based home visiting, and from assuring health insurance to expanding services for at-risk families, Rhode Island stands as a national model for policies and initiatives that protect children and help ensure their future success,” she said.
The state doesn't mention any form of promoting full parental engagement, but rather more governmental programs as in 'home visiting'. Never mind marriage, there is no talk of non-residential fathers as a need to build 'a strong system of support for its young children'.

There has been a change in demographics.

If not for a high number of births in Providence County plus international migration there, Rhode Island's population would have declined by more than 13,000 since the 2010 national census, according to numbers scheduled to be released Thursday by the U.S. Census Bureau. As it was, the state has lost about 2,300 people in that time.

From the Providence Journal from March 2013

Last year the Providence Journal also highlighted the problem of demographics, "Census numbers show income is leaving Rhode Island faster than people are"
Rhode Island is not only losing population -- as U.S. Census Bureau numbers revealed Thursday -- it is also losing income as people moving in make less than those leaving, a deeper look at Census numbers shows.
The state is losing individuals, who are likely to be a part of the middle class, who are more stable and would need less state intervention in their lives, in which the divide between rich and poor has a larger gap. One group (the rich) control government, another group (the poor) is completely controlled by government.

Over at Legal Insurrection, Professor Jacobson highlights the problem of his homes state, with an article from Fox Providence.

"Rhode Island has just over 1 million residents. Economists argue the driving force behind Rhode Island's population loss is a weak economy, with too few jobs for residents, though a lack of affordable housing and the level of taxation may also play a role."
Decent employment and homes people can afford (not 'affordable public subsidized housing') are needed factors for marriage, if they don't exist people don't get married in general and they don't have children. With fewer and fewer children raised in stable homes, whether because they live in poverty or the because they don't exist, there will no middle class and civil society. The rich exist with fewer of 'us'.

Rhode Island known for its corruption, has been open about the bargaining of marriage with the state representatives. From the Catholic Diocese in Providence, "Rep: Colleague trying to bargain on gay marriage issue"

A Republican state representative is accusing a Democratic colleague of trying to use the issue of same-sex marriage as a bargaining chip in the push to tighten the state’s laws regarding the reduction of prison sentences through good behavior for those convicted of violent crimes.
Costa said that when Tanzi approached her, she was holding a folder with the paperwork for her to sign that would make her a cosponsor of a bill.“She smiled and said, ‘I hate to do this, but I have to horse trade. You can sign here if you vote gay marriage out of committee’.”Costa said she was astounded at what she was hearing. She said she responded, “Are you kidding me?” With that, Tanzi simply walked away, she said.
So there you have it... for my crazy talk of the day.

Friday, April 26, 2013

7QT Ducks Aren't Yellow

7QT hosted by Jen over at Conversion Diary

1.

My youngest made a black duck, my husband questioned it later that night. I reminded him that ducks aren't yellow, so he was making the correct observation.

2. Local media, independently own, works. The Valley Patriot, unlike CNN, was up-to-date, and correct on the reporting of the Boston Marathon Bombings. Read these two opinions from The Valley Patriot, below at Quick Take 3 and 4.

3. Ye Gay Ol’ Valley – Christian Homes Produce Gay Children (The Valley Patriot)

My parents loved each other and our family with such fierce devotion that it spilled over into every aspect of our lives. Our home was stable, safe and secure. Our family’s strong foundation was bricked with the mortar of a deep Christian faith. At the time of my mother’s death my parents had been together for almost forty years teaching us that true love lasts.

My parent’s stable marriage, loving, Christian, honest, and hard working home produced a gay child. In fact every one of my gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered friends grew up in a Christian household – EVERY one of them. I can only deduce that Christian homes produce gay children.

4. Morality Matters – The Nuptial Meaning of the Body (The Valley Patriot)

If you look at the human body it is apparent that most of its parts exist primarily for the sake of the self. The heart keeps the person alive, the other vital organs sustain that life; the eyes, teeth, stomach, legs, all exist primarily for the good and survival of the self — we feed ourselves, wash and clothe ourselves, oxygenate ourselves by breathing; we exercise, sleep, learn, etc. all for the good of the self....

The only parts of the human body that exist primarily for another are the reproductive parts. The nuptial meaning of our bodies, imprinted in the function and purpose of our maleness and femaleness, speak of the nature of what we are as a sexual species and who we are as male and female persons. The body expresses the soul, even if the emotions or psyche may be disordered.

5. Japan’s deflation is a product of shrinking work force, not policy

Economic theory tells us that deflation is a natural consequence of a declining labour supply, as long as technological innovation persists at a faster pace than employment is shrinking. We therefore predict that no amount of monetary stimulus can reverse the trend decline in prices: The roots of Japan’s deflation are not monetary.

Spain’s population falls as unemployment hits a record

"Official figures show more than 6.2 million Spaniards don't have work, pushing the country's unemployment rate to a record 27.2 per cent. It's even worse for those under 24 years of age, with the youth unemployment rate at a staggering 57.2 per cent. In fact, earlier this week, Spain's population fell for the first time since annual records began."
We avoid the connection between the total fertility rates and economy, but it's real problem.

6. When it comes to family public policy, why does it seem I'm the only person in the world that cares. "Not just maternalism: marriage and fatherhood in American welfare policy" (2011)

Recent welfare reform has also started to target poor men directly, especially in fatherhood and marriage promotion initiatives. The article highlights how, in addition to workfare policies, marriage promotion is a neoliberal policy shifting risk to the shoulders of the poor, aiming to produce "strong families" for the purposes of social security.

Meanwhile, my Twitter and Facebook feeds stream with rejoice of rewriting our laws formally to assert marriage is a legal right of two people privately, with no public consequence to it meaning to application for the needs of children.

7. For my defense of Church teachings, I think one day I will end up this guy.

According to FEMEN, Tuesday’s attack was spurred by an interview three weeks ago where Archbishop Leonard said that when speaking to Christians who are inclined to homosexuality he suggests celibacy, as is required for all single persons.

The message that a mother and father should love their child, who happens to be gay isn't exactly homophobia. Is this our future as Christians, who are concerned for the stabilization of the family? What am I going to do, hideout in a cave until it is safe? Well maybe, it worked in Cappadocia.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Instead of complaining about Bishop Gene Robinson, I will praise Bishop Hirshfeld

Bishop Robinson was to be a shepherd to the Diocese of New Hampshire, instead of humbling yourself in his work, he became a 'gay celebrity' while the Diocese declined in numbers. Most recently on his talk circuit, as the media's darling, he unnecessarily attack Detroit's Catholic Archbishop Allen Vigneron for teaching the Church's faith in the Washington Post. As a Catholic, we are held to protect both life and family, while protecting all those from injustice. One social justice can not conflict with another. The world doesn't revolve him, as much as he would like to think it does.

Meanwhile, his successor seems to being that shepherd. As I browse the page of the Episcopal Diocese of New Hampshire, it looks like what a Church is suppose to be doing. I'm getting the impression that Bishop Rob Hirschfeld will not be remembered as the second gay Bishop of the Diocese of New Hampshire, but simply as a good bishop of his church.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Sex isn't a game. It's life.

How does one respond to the foolish and irresponsible acts of what occurred at Linden Avenue Middle School in Red Hook New York (April 2013)?
A group of students from Bard College led two workshops for the youth, separated by gender. During the workshop for girls, the 13 and 14-year-olds were told to ask one another for a lesbian kiss. They were also taught words such as “pansexual” and “genderqueer.” Parent Mandy Coon told reporters that her daughter was very uncomfortable with the exercise. “She told me, ‘Mom, we all get teased and picked on enough; now I’m going to be called a lesbian because I had to ask another girl if I could kiss her,’” she lamented.
According to reports, during the workshop for the adolescent boys, the students were counseled to keep a condom in their pocket at all times, and were taught how to identify a woman who is a “slut.”

So they were not actual teachers certified in health education? Their workshop was not apart of a curriculum that could be reviewed by parents or the student? These were college students, who basically had the floor to themselves to do whatever that really wanted with these middle school kids. Who was supervising them?

Never trust a condom in the pocket! You do not know where it has been or how old it is. In fact from the own sex-ed class from 20+ years ago, boys and girls in the same class room were told to keep condoms in the drawer! And never let a man call you a slut, ever! A man should never sexually label you! In the actual health class in my middle school, no one was forced to 'act out' or 'role play' in a classroom, expect a few years later in high school the AIDS assembly did at Chelmsford High back in 1992 which was performed by a non-health care professional.

It seems a lot of these controversies are coming from the assemblies/workshops, and not the actual curriculum that is set up by the health educator. A health teacher is a professional, he or she will speak to my children in the very same manner their doctor would speak to them in terms of sex. As someone who would be labeled conservative, we're not against teaching our children the facts of human sexuality, but we demand that it is done a manner that one would speak to a young adult that is at a level of a real health care professional.

I have some differing opinions, in fact I believe in younger marriage. People in their 60s, were married at 18-21, and I see so many happy life long marriages. By definition, I'm not against teen sex, but then again I wouldn't be against teen marriage or even teen parents. Also 50 years ago, one could raise a family with just a high school degree, now a college degree is a credential. It's actual value though, it being debated for another post.

Can Your Sexual Debut Predict Your Future? From Psychology Today April 16, 2013

Most studies indicate that sex at a young age (under age 15 in the US) raises the level of risk for future delinquency as well as mental and physical health difficulties (depression, eating disorders, unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases)......

Interestingly, Harden’s data showed no differences between the 'early' and ‘on- time’ groups. But those participants who waited with sex at least until the age of twenty were significantly different from the other groups. They earned more money, acquired more education, had fewer partners and reported far fewer problems with their marriages.

Obviously this does not mean everyone who waits for sex will marry well (or marry at all: the percentage of married people in the late group was lower than in the others), just as we can’t conclude that early sex necessarily begets an unhappy marriage. Psychological research deals with probabilities, not absolutes. Even the solid link between drunk driving and car accidents, for example, does not mean that every, and only, drunk drivers have accidents.

Parents, you matter to your children, more then the school and media like to think. You are their first teacher and role model. Even if may lose to the school system, you spoke up and defended your child's right to be taught in a professional manner on human sexuality. Parents, scientific research backs up you intuitive belief that young teens should not be having sex in unstable relationships for recreational purposes. That postponing sex does indeed have it real benefits for them, and promotes love and healthy marriages.

Monday, April 22, 2013

(Part 2) Corporations Don't Love You or Care, and Progressive Liberalism is as Dead as Social Conservatism

DuPont comes out in support of marriage equality March 26, 2013 via Delaware Business Daily

DuPont announced its support for marriage equality in anticipation of legislation in its home state of Delaware. DuPont believes this action demonstrates its core value of respect for people and its commitment to diversity and inclusion, according to a company statement.

Why is a large corporation which spends millions in lobbying, upwards of 1.2 million within a quarter, that pays no taxes to our federal government interested in Marriage? Why not talk about the issue of fatherless homes and parental engagement for the rights and needs of children in their home state of Delaware?

What else about Dupont...

"DuPont contributed $4 million to oppose the passage of California Proposition 37, which would mandate the disclosure of genetically modified crops used in the production of California food products."
In December 2011, the non-partisan organization Public Campaign criticized DuPont for spending $13.75 million on lobbying and not paying any taxes during 2008–2010, instead getting $72 million in tax rebates, despite making a profit of $2.1 billion, and increasing executive pay by 188% to $27.4 million in 2010 for its top 5 executives.

Why is the push for redefining marriage coming from 1%? Will the left part of the 99% question their motives?

----- In addition... in regards to Delaware from Delaware Black. Com If I had a Father

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Whatever you do, just don't call it marriage!

That's where we're going.... so just don't say it. From Parade Magazine: On what concerns them most about our nation today?
George Bush: A breakdown of the family. The economic strain on a single mom trying to raise a child is tough. And the statistics are that if a child grows up in a single-parent household, he or she is going to have a more difficult time in life. That has long-term implications. Laura Bush: It’s difficult for boys, especially, to grow up without a father.

Families matter, they matter before an education. This is why Head Start failed, as an early intervention for children at risk. Head Start didn't involve the parents.

Early Investment in Families Helps Children Succeed in School via Science Daily
ParentCorps was developed by Dr. Brotman and her colleagues at NYU Langone in 2000 to promote self-regulation and early learning among children in disadvantaged urban neighborhoods. The program includes a series of group sessions for parents and children held at the school during early evening hours, and professional development for early childhood educators. ParentCorps helps schools engage families early on in their children's education, and supports parents and educators in using scientifically-proven strategies such as how to establish routines and rules, reinforce positive behavior and provide effective consequences for misbehavior.
Results showed children in schools with ParentCorps had significantly higher kindergarten achievement test scores for reading, writing and math compared to children receiving education as usual, and more positive trajectories of academic performance from pre-kindergarten through kindergarten. In fact, by the fourth year of ParentCorps implementation in schools, the impact on reading achievement was comparable to the size of the achievement gap for poor and minority children, moving the average reader (50th percentile) to above average (69th percentile). Together with previously-reported program effects on obesity and behavior at school, findings indicate that ParentCorps has the potential to meaningfully improve children's lives.
Study of Men’s Falling Income Cites Single Parents from the New York Times
David H. Autor, a professor at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, says that the difference between men and women, at least in part, may have roots in childhood. Only 63 percent of children lived in a household with two parents in 2010, down from 82 percent in 1970. The single parents raising the rest of those children are predominantly female. And there is growing evidence that sons raised by single mothers “appear to fare particularly poorly,” Professor Autor wrote in an analysis for Third Way, a center-left policy research organization.
Wait.....
“If Democrats have as their goal being the party of the middle class, they have to come to the realization that they’re not going to be able to get there solely through their standard explanations,” said Mr. Cowan, a veteran of the Clinton administration. “We need to ask, ‘How can we get these fathers back involved in their children’s lives?’
Well... we use to call it marriage. So here we go, we have to start from square one.

Friday, April 19, 2013

7QT Dealing with Narcissism, Public Tragedy, and Grief

7QT is hosted by Grace at Camp Patton this week, while Jen enjoys her baby out of NICU

I wrote this last night~! The city of Boston is completely shut down this morning~! Please read this understanding in context

1. This past week, Justin Bieber 'In the site's guest book, (he) wrote, "Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber." The tourist site shared the message on its official Facebook page.' -CNN News

Whatever it is, like Justin, we can always bring it back to how it would affect ourselves.

2. So when tragedy hit the Boston Marathon on Monday, everyone on social media was trying to find their personal connection. I have none. I do not know any of the victims, even though my two sister-in-laws were at the 24 and 25 mile mark, and my parents were calling to ensure that they didn't have my children with them at the bombing. My children were in the backyard, and we weren't even watching the marathon. I haven't watched it in years. My two sister-in-laws, who no longer live in Lowell, are much closely connected to Boston through college and work. Me? Not so. I'm cloistered here in my neighborhood. I rarely go beyond the adjacent towns.

3. The social media reaction reminded me of of people's reactions to Newtown, they wanted to make it personal for them and how it affected them. Reporters assigned to cover, were all over the town. The town was engulfed by the media because American needed to grieve. Instead our consumption to grieve, failed to respect the privacy of the town. Please read this entry from Rob Mill's Lowell Sun Reporter and the photos of 'the media'.

Wouldn’t you love to have to grieve with the scene that’s above on your street?

Wouldn’t you love to face something like this, but not be able to walk your dog without coming face to face with a microphone?

And lets not mix words. I was absolutely a part of this, and it made my stomach sink.

4. Last December there was a blog post over at Free Range Kids.

I realized that I could spend hours mulling over the pain of those families. I could superimpose their reality over mine, imagining what it would feel like to go through such suffering. Inevitably, I’d start to hurt as though I actually might understand what they’re going through. I’d feel sad. I’d grow anxious, worried, and depressed. I know myself. This is how I respond. The truth is, however, that I don’t understand their pain. I couldn’t possibly because it’s not my reality. Letting my mind play over the horrific happenings does me no good. It doesn’t do any good for my family, nor does it do any good for the grieving families.

5. Over 20 years ago, my brother died expectantly in a car accident. We had a large funeral, and everyone who knew the family and my brother attended. I even remember a home-made sympathy card from one of the younger neighborhood children, she gave it to me personally. Strangers didn't come to grieve, why would they?

It made the front page of the Lowell Sun, but because it was summer and he graduated, so two weeks later when school started, nothing was mentioned of my lost. I was still in middle school. But the next year, my freshman year in high school, three recent graduates died in the very same spot as my brother. I witnessed an outpouring public grief that the school must grieve as a community, and I'm like 'What?'. I didn't know what to think, in fact confused by the attention the sister of one of the deceased was getting, who happened to be in my grade. It was nice of the guidance counselor to call me into the her office that day, and ask if I was OK which at times felt like a circus of mourning. That was all I needed, and I actually appreciated that a lot.

6. "People who have never suffered the loss of a loved one tend to believe that the bereavement process has a far more destructive and devastating effect on a person compared to those who have actually suffered such a loss in the past, according to a new study by the University of Haifa's International Center for the Study of Loss, Bereavement and Human Resilience." So after twenty plus years, I can honestly say I'm not insensitive or crazy. In fact my faith, while poorly formed and lacking strong understanding at the time, helped me cope with death at a personal level.

7. Some victims of the Boston Marathon Bombing indeed are from Greater Lowell. Many people in the community were scared, and unable to make immediate contact with their loved ones at the time of the bombing. In some cases it took hours. In some cases people lost life and limbs. Yes, limbs! I, however didn't experience that.This family did, though in Lowell, and another in Chelmsford and Dracut. I do not know them. This tragedy does have an affect all of us, but I respect the victims space for privacy and need to be there for each other. Allow the law enforcement and the FBI to do their job and not seek our vengeance by many in the public who were not even personally harmed by this act of terrorism.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

What Pope John Paul II said on Creation and Science

Recently celebrity physicist Stephen Hawkings spoke at CalTech, in which he spoke on the Big Bang and that it was unnecessary for God or any other outside force to start the universe. There was no need for Hawkins to misrepresent the Church on science though, considering it was a priest who discovered the Big Bang Theory and Pope Francis has a degree in chemistry. Georges Lemaître, Father of the Big Bang
According to the Big Bang theory, the expansion of the observable universe began with the explosion of a single particle at a definite point in time. This startling idea first appeared in scientific form in 1931, in a paper by Georges Lemaître, a Belgian cosmologist and Catholic priest. The theory, accepted by nearly all astronomers today, was a radical departure from scientific orthodoxy in the 1930s. Many astronomers at the time were still uncomfortable with the idea that the universe is expanding. That the entire observable universe of galaxies began with a bang seemed preposterous.
Big Bang Didn't Need God, Stephen Hawking Says via Space.Com (commercial, for pro-fit media site)
In another observation of modern religion, Hawking noted that in the 1980s, around the time he released a paper discussing the moment the universe was born, Pope John Paul II admonished the scientific establishment against studying the moment of creation, as it was holy. “I was glad not to be thrown into an inquisition,” Hawking joked.
But this isn't what Pope John Paul II said at all.... Pope John Paul II on Creationism from National Center for Science Education
In October of 1981, in an address to the Pontifical Academy of Science, Pope John Paul II said:
"Cosmogony and cosmology have always aroused great interest among peoples and religions. The Bible itself speaks to us of the origin of the universe and its make-up, not in order to provide us with a scientific treatise but in order to state the correct relationships of man with God and with the universe. Sacred Scripture wishes simply to declare that the world was created by God, and in order to teach this truth it expresses itself in the terms of the cosmology in use at the time of the writer. The Sacred Book likewise wishes to tell men that the world was not created as the seat of the gods, as was taught by other cosmogonies and cosmologies, but was rather created for the service of man and the glory of God. Any other teaching about the origin and make-up of the universe is alien to the intentions of the Bible, which does not wish to teach how heaven was but how one goes to heaven."

To Add: Digital Hairshirt's thoughts.

I do not see any "anti-science" sentiment in what His Holiness said. It seems that Hawking, who is presumably one of the smartest men in the world, cannot grasp the premise of science and faith co-existing and does a disservice to fellow men of both, such as Pascal and Mendel. Instead, he incorporates a snarky, anti-religious schtick into his presentations that frankly grow old and embarrass him.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Donun Vitae and Baby Veronica

Bad Catholic covers the issue over IVF, with highlighting Donun Vitae. Donun Vitae is a Vatican Document explaining why IVF methods go against the teaching and other forms of technologies that affect the inherent dignity of the human person.

Baby Veronica is a child, conceived naturally, who was incorrectly placed for adoption. I'm not anti-adoption, well maybe I am by other people's standards. I'm pro-family and pro-father's equal legal rights to parent his children. In the context of family, formally understood as marriage, marriage connects the conjugal act with the openness and acceptance of children and for a mother and father to raise their children as wife and husband. Even without marriage in this context and now separated as a legal contract between two adults in our secular culture, individuals still have a right to be raised by their mother and father, absent neglect and abuse. They are not a part of the economy.

Baby Veronica and Native American Family Values by Jacqueline Pata April 16, 2013

Veronica is Brown’s now 3 1/2-year-old daughter; Veronica and Dusten now are a family together in Oklahoma. Veronica’s father and mother were engaged when she was conceived. When Dusten Brown first learned of the pregnancy, he begged his fiancé to marry him right away, to move into military housing on base with him, and even suggested she quit her job so that she could focus on their unborn child. He pledged to financially support her, their child and even her children from another relationship.

The father was heartbroken and confused when his pregnant fiancé broke off their engagement and stopped answering his phone calls and text messages. He called and sent text messages, repeatedly and without response. Finally, he got permission to leave the base and traveled to her home, some four hours away. Her car was there and he heard voices inside her home, but she would not come to the door.

Court testimony shows that the birth mother kept her plans to adopt the baby a secret from the father – because she knew that the father would never consent to give his child up for adoption. The father did not learn of the mother’s plans to give up the baby until the child was four months old and the father was on the verge of shipping out to Iraq. Once learning this news, the father immediately took all the legal steps he could consistent with the pressures of his deployment into hostile territory and subsequent combat.

If only we had more fathers like Dusten Brown!!! I see so many parents due to substance abuse or just unable to care do NOTHING for their children at the Department of Children and Families. I also see a lot of good fathers as well, who like Dusten Brown have been 'pushed out' of the child's life by the mother and fall off the radar and when the mother is unable to care for the child (due to neglect/abuse/murder by current domestic partner/incarceration) we search out the father, and he's at DCF with his family to pick up his child and take proper custody and care of his child. This may happen, even years later.

“The child has the right to be conceived, carried in the womb, brought into the world and brought up within marriage: it is through the secure and recognized relationship to his own parents that the child can discover his own identity and achieve his own proper human development. The parents find in their child a confirmation and completion of their reciprocal self-giving: the child is the living image of their love, the permanent sign of their conjugal union, the living and indissoluble concrete expression of their paternity and maternity.” -Donun Vitae
For whatever reason, the mother of Veronica rejected this concept, but why should the father and Veronica pay the price? It is clear the the pre-adoptive couple were on a mission to find a baby. After trying several attempts at IVF that failed, they sought out a pregnant woman in which they 'financially supported' in her pregnancy. The adoption agency and the mother failed to give any chance for the father to be a dad, considering the pre-adoptive parents were in the delivery room at birth but the biological father was not offered such an opportunity. Do you think if the mother of Veronica called up the father, and asked for him to be present he would not be there? Of course he would!

Unlike with adoption agencies, at the Department of Children and Families in Massachusetts there is no adoption fee. There is no economy, as Bad Catholic describes the concern, all that is present in front of the judge is rights of families and children.

“The child has the right to be conceived, carried in the womb, brought into the world and brought up within marriage: it is through the secure and recognized relationship to his own parents that the child can discover his own identity and achieve his own proper human development. The parents find in their child a confirmation and completion of their reciprocal self-giving: the child is the living image of their love, the permanent sign of their conjugal union, the living and indissoluble concrete expression of their paternity and maternity.”

This doesn't always happen in marriage, and as a trend it will be come less and less common in our secular culture. If not marriage, we must still promote and protect the rights of children to be raised by both biological parents.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Gosnell -This is different.

I've known about Dr. Gosnell for some time now, it has been reported by the pro-life media since 2011. I didn't think much of it, because people know what abortion is. If you're pro-choice, you don't care and choose to ignore. If you're pro-life you realize spreading pictures of dead fetuses really doesn't work, but instead we try on helping pregnant women with the needed resources to choose life before making it to the abortion clinic.

But then again, if we want to talk about the truth of abortion. Let's talk about the procedure, and let's talk about the women who have to live with abortion. Let's not insult the issue, by declaring it's a woman's reproductive right in campaign advertisements endorsed by NARAL and Planned Parenthood for Ed Markey. OK Democrats. OK. And you too, Republicans.

This is different

J.D. Mullane is the Bucks County Courier Times columnist who took the photo of the empty rows of media seating at the Kermit Gosnell trial. His column titled “What I saw at the Gosnell trial” is a must-read. According to Mullane, someone from CNN called to question the accuracy of his courtroom photo. Mullane’s pitch-perfect response was boom-worthy: “Go to Philly & see.” That’s when he says he was told a “small staff” made sending a reporter impossible.

The article in question is written by J.D. Mullane, the only reporter in the courtroom. The article contains photos of the dead fetuses piled up in a freezer and others exposed in medical trays, including where their spinal cords were snipped. One of the horrifying photos was in my Facebook Feed, somewhere I wish someone didn't put it. I would ask that you read the article, that you witness those images. I won't shove them in your face unwillingly, but it is time we demand more from our politicians, like Ed Markey who brag that they were once pro-life, but now embrace abortion proudly.

Friday, April 12, 2013

7QT Explaining STDs to an 11 year old girl

Seven Quick Takes is hosted by Grace over at Camp Patton

1.Our pediatrician offered the HPV vaccine for our daughter (age 11), I declined. I told him she can make that decision when she is able to understand fully how HPV is transmitted. My daughter was happy to get two shots over three. But we had to tell her how STDs are spread with multiple partners this evening, but as Catholics we utilize comprehensive preventative healthy behavior with fidelity to one's spouse. The CDC also promotes abstinence and monogamy in its FACT SHEETS. Something to share with your children, if the school's sexual health class does not fully highlight this information. No one should die from an STD, but people shouldn't assume medicine should always be there to accommodate unsafe behavior. Sigh... couldn't just tell a half truth to her and said it was just a vaccine to prevent cancer in woman, as they do in the commercials. What next inform her, that antibiotics can't keep up with the new strains of STDs

2. I shared this on Facebook, and there was a good discussion on the realities of living in a world of STDs. First is that STDs are historic, and have a precedent of harming people. This was before the Pill, as highlighted by NPR. Did Penicillin, Rather Than The Pill, Usher In Age Of Love?

3. We told our daughter because mom and dad are only with each other, we stay healthy. That my 'female doctor' is happy that dad and I are only with each other. It's the same way a doctor wants you to eat healthy and exercise. We address every other health concern with behavior change before chronic management, except for sexual health.

4. It's the way HPV is marketed and pushed on girls and boys at a young age, in which they fail to even mention that HPV is an STD. The public advertising campaign backfired and at age 11 is too young, I would feel more confident at 13 or 14. I have nothing against in general vaccines and antibiotics. But just as a vaccine can save a life, so does monogamy/abstinence. Abstinence can not be 'preached', but I grew up that you can and should do whatever you want as a sexual teen/adult as long as you're do it safe. Medicine can not keep up to manage behavior that can harm us.

5. We use to be open about how STDs were transmitted, in a time of nostalgia we didn't hide the issue of STDs with slick campaigns. We called out on STDS and what they are.

6. Money. I think this would be less controversial and higher rates of participation if we didn't have the commercials and the high cost per a shot. The cost per a shot is 120 dollars times three, because you need three shots. The HPV fact sheet I received from the pediatrician was pretty straight forward and compelling without all the dramatic theatrics of 'One Less'. Dr. Oz recommends waiting to the 14 year range, because we do not know how effective it is after 5 years. Gardasil is a big money maker for Merck who lost a lot of profit over Vioxx. The vaccine was pushed through with a lot of soft campaign funding to mandate girls be required to be vaccinated to attend school. That's where parents lost trust, you don't catch STDs in school like you can with measles.

7. Fact Sheet From the CDC on HPV

*Images are from the CUNY Health in America

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Assisted suicide was never about dignity or medical care or hospice

I read this over at Science Daily, How Seattle Cancer Care Alliance Implemented Washington's Death With Dignity Act.
"People who pursue Death with Dignity tend to be individuals who want to be independent and want to have control over the conditions and timing of their final moments of life," said Elizabeth Trice Loggers, M.D., Ph.D., corresponding author and medical director of SCCA's Supportive and Palliative Care Service. Washington was the second state, after Oregon, to enact a Death with Dignity law. It was passed in November 2008 after a voter-approved referendum and enacted in March 2009. Under Washington law, competent adults residing in the state with a life expectancy of six months or less due to a diagnosed medical condition may request and self-administer lethal medications prescribed by a physician. Prescribing physicians do not assist patients to ingest the medicine

This isn't treatment of a medical condition or hospice care, it is simply a want to end your life. A life in which the patient is fully competent and can self-administer the poison to kill themselves. It the point is to kill, not treat an ailment that it isn't medicine.

The health care provider did step up safe gaurds, that should be noted.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Divorce, Children, and the Aftermath

I realize everyone is on the bandwagon on marriage equality or in the legal field it is the greater access to divorce, we are ignoring the real concerns of children. So let for many of us who are trying 'preserve marriage' whatever that may mean or be interpreted, please realize we're not doing something merely for the name or legal benefits.

We know people fear marriage, and that's a valid worry.

"Too many singles hold fear of divorce"

The marriage rate is at a record low in this country, and a new study from Cornell University might have found the reason why.

According to the study, two-thirds of cohabitating couples report that they fear divorce and the financial, legal, and emotional ramifications of a failed marriage. Fears such as these might prevent couples from tying the knot, particularly for younger generations who might have experienced the pain of divorce firsthand within their childhood home

Adult Children Of Divorce: Which Type Are You?

Last week I went to dinner with my 80-year-old dad who was visiting me from Arizona. We were reminiscing about the days before my parents' divorce. Some of my childhood memories were actually good. Then he said to me, "Even though your mom and I got divorced, you and your sisters turned out just fine. You've all done great."

I just sat there and nodded my head. I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth. We hadn't turned out fine. Even though he knows my sisters and I also got divorced, he doesn't know the depth of the emotional pain we went through in our own marriages and divorces.

Divorce Hurts Children, Even Grown Ones

Divorce is bad, plain and simple. I am a psychologist with an excellent education and the daughter of a divorce. In school, I read everything I could get my hands on, academic and anecdotal. I talked to everyone I knew, young and old. I talked to people who stayed in unhappy marriages. I talked to people who had married multiple times. From scientific articles to Hemingway on divorce, no source was overlooked. Believe me, there is no such thing as an intelligent divorce.
Children Of Divorce
Divorce is one of the most common environmental stressors experienced by children.

The role of depression in the differential effect of childhood parental divorce on male and female adult offspring suicide attempt risk.

Our previous findings that female offspring of parental divorce and parental remarriage are more likely to report a lifetime suicide attempt than male offspring remained even after controlling for offspring depression. Findings suggest that focusing on engaging female offspring who demonstrate symptoms of depression is not sufficient to reduce suicide attempt risk in this group as many at risk individuals will remain unrecognized.

Marriages and psychological distress among adult offspring of divorce: a Norwegian study.

Individuals with divorced parents tended to delay marriage or not marry at all. However, among those who married, there were more divorces among the offspring of divorced parents than among offspring of parents who were still married. Offspring of divorce tended to marry other offspring of divorce. These marriages were at especially high risk of dissolution.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Marriage from a child's point of view

This post was originally posted on my original blog "Up On Christian Hill" on February 14, 2007.Six years have passed, marriage in our present day has no interest in a child being raised and protected by both of her parents, something any person once understood, but now it is simply a legal contract between two consenting adults.

Renee Aste, Lowell Massachusetts

Marriage from a child's point of view

I’ve been reflecting not only on my own marriage, but the others I know of especially my parents. Don’t worry I won’t say anything bad. It is a pet peeve of mine when people complain about their parent’s online. I find it tacky and disrespectful.

It isn’t that my parent’s marriage was picture perfect. We all have our problems and life is imperfect, it how my parent’s marriage helped me with my own life. Ten/Fifteen years ago marriage was something that wasn’t talk about in terms of themselves in high school and college. As mentioned before we only talked about how to protect ourselves from AIDS and to enjoy ourselves, when it came to sexual behavior.

Educators told us not to worry about marriage, because education and career were much more important. Schools can list how many people graduated, who went to college, and how high of an income their graduates earn since that is there main objective. They don’t list who married or who is a parent, but they don’t list who is STD free either even though they teach the importance of not getting an STD or having kids ruin your life.

While in high school and college, my peers always talked about their parents and their relationship with each other. Even though it was never considered a factor in success and happiness, we talked about gender, incomes, and race, even sexual orientation but never how marriage affected society in formal terms. Informally though I could tell you the lives of dozens of parents, because we spoke so much of them.

We talked about how well they got along with each other, if they fought, if they were divorced, remarried, abandoned us, and even if they smoked pot. Parents were important to us, even though educators, marketers, and counter sub-cultures wanted us to ignore what they represented to us. Back while a sophomore in college something changed in my view of social policy and family.

I always considered myself a democrat. Women were just democrats, my parents were democrats. I never was vocal about the matter life and conscience issues, I was silent I always avoided such topics and focused on writing about foreign policy and trends in political campaigning. A republican was the guy in school, who didn’t own a pair of jeans and over dressed for every occasion to only impress himself.

It was a professor who was damning capitalism and the government at the pulpit every day of class, who incidentally refuse to drive a car on principle always blamed every –ism possible changed me. Very deep I know, but looking around me the problem wasn’t an -ism. Of course many –isms exist, but the main component whether someone was able to succeed not in an overachieving sense, but do very well from themselves was that they came from a stable home.

A stable home in which there was no chaos and uncertainty. A home in which life was predictable day in and day out, it was one less thing to worry about so you could focus on your studies. I didn’t understand the value of the family, so at 19 my arguments were not great. In fact being a self-describe democrat I was attacked not because I was white, from the suburbs, or that my parents could afford to send my to a third tier public university (well I was kindaof ), it really was because I was created from husband and a wife in which my father and mother indeed loved each other and understood the obligation of marriage.

That semester I decided not to go back to that university. I remember calling up my father and telling him such news, but not to worry that I would finish up my classes in the remaining weeks. Something changed. I definitely started to become more religious, more conservative, and more family orietated. I should note, I just started dating my husband and even my peers knew something was different.

So when people say the definition of marriage hasn’t affected anyone and never will. The reality is marriage has affected everyone, because everyone has a mother and a father and that relationship between their mother and father is the number one factor upon their survival and well being.I will be the first to attest my parent’s intact marriage affected me in more good ways then bad. Marriage is very important, it wasn’t the public status or legal benefit that protected me it was my parents who were the true protectors.

Friday, April 5, 2013

7QT When will I be fed to the lions?

Hosted by Conversion Diary

1.

Just a few years ago, both President Obama and President Bush not only defended marriage as a man and woman, but they both understood the reasoning in regards to child welfare and the importance of a mother and father, especially in more vulnerable situations in urban and low-income families. Bush initiated fatherhood initiatives, and Obama as a Senator also wanted to increase such programs and policies to increase the stability for a child's life.

2.

Remember back in 2010, when Americans were polled about 40% believed marriage was obsolete. Three years ago was the turning point. " If your parents were divorced, you're at least 40 percent more likely to get divorced than if they weren't. If your parents married others after divorcing, you're 91 percent more likely to get divorced." Marriage decline is exponential. So, the decline is more evident and growing faster by the day.

3.

This is awkward, I still want to promote and defend marriage. Or something. I will defend marriage without using the word marriage. OK.

4.

So there was a local conversation on what to do after Gay Marriage is a part of the national landscape and what will happen to people like me.

Lucky me.

5.

Gay culture existed for a long time in Massachusetts all without gay marriage. Marriage declined on its very own, gay culture didn't have to destroy it. But I always connected gay culture with 'alternative' ideas though. But WFNX/Phoenix (the local independent radio station) is dead, and a lot of ideas we connected to an alternative are gone as well. So odd to head about a gay pride parade on Kiss 108, a media giant.

For me it was never about destroying gay culture or being anti-gay. Did you know, when Ray Flynn was Mayor of Boston and ambassador to the Vatican under Clinton, he (as mayor) was a guest on the '1 in 10' the local radio show gays on WFNX. He also initiated the marriage protection petition in Massachusetts ten years ago to defend our marriage policy, at the time.

6.

The law will address the needs of families in new language and policy. Because even if you can't call it marriage, the state will always have the interest in a child being raised by biological kin in a stable environment. It will be costly and disruptive for the child, if parents do not vow as husband and wife to be married or whatever we will call it, how about calling it 'work it out together without being complete jerks to one another, because this really isn't just about being someone's special soul mate and getting a bunch of government freebies'.

I have to rebuild and strengthen the family without using the word marriage. That's all I can physically do at this point. Support parents being parents, engage both mother and father. If a couple plans on sticking it out, support their relationship and not just their wedding. Sad when a wedding favor lasts longer, then a marriage. Yeah, I save mine. When we live in a world, in which media sends the message that wants us to be more concern to saying yes to the dress, then to our marital vows.

7.

Over in England, they are working on their government policy to help mothers and fathers raise their children.

Specially-trained nurses are to act as mentors to the young mothers while they are bringing up their babies, health officials have announced, in a bid to prevent child abuse and reduce the chances of children growing up to be troubled youths. The Family Nurse Partnership currently sees nurses or midwives regularly visit first-time mothers under the age of 20 during their pregnancy and until their baby is two years old. The nurses help the new mothers, and fathers, to prepare for labour, offer advice on looking after babies and toddlers, and help plan for the future.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

The Mayor

A post on Lowell...

Where was the mayor on Tuesday night?

He wasn't the one who gave birth.

He could of made his apology last night and addressed Mercier's concerns, and it would of been over. Over. I'm falling in line with Gerry Nutter, in which all of the Council can bear some responsibility in this. But the other councilor's are not the mayor, the mayor is the mayor. It's his ship, and he isn't at the wheel.

Yes, I know his wife had a child two days prior to the Council meeting, but the Mayor missed the previous two meetings as well. There are concerns over his poor judgment and a few communication misses. He should of been there, just for three hours to answer them.

Remember the Mayor was not present at two council meetings prior to his son's birth.

I respect the mother and child's privacy. They have a right to their privacy. I wish not to question that. The Mayor is not a private person. The public respects the privacy of the marriage and birth, we get that. But his wife knew the Mayor had civic obligations to the city, and it wasn't like his wife didn't foreseen this obligation. They were married, while Patrick Murphy was mayor.

While my parents were never engaged in civics beyond being regular voters, my in-laws, especially my father-in-law was. My father-in-law belong to many organizations, and sacrificed many evenings at the expense of his family to help out the community. There was always a meeting somewhere at 6:30 in the evening. Fortunately both my in-laws worked in Lowell, and didn't have long office hours on projects that would keep them in a cubicle until 7:30 at night.

Public office is a service and a sacrifice. Sacrifice. That's part of the job. If your confidence as mayor is being questioned, and you are unavailable to your fellow councilors for weeks on end (and you're not the one having the baby), well that's also poor judgement.