Recently I began to follow NOM on Twitter, immediately I began to be followed by Twitter accounts that very publicly to spread the message that I (and others) are full of hate. This is not how you share the positive and valid points you may have. Those accounts are trying to suppress a conversation, in which on many points there is mutual agreement.
Marriage really does matter (at least the idea if we have to rename), as one man and one woman for the purposes of raising their children as a family unit. We see it in the hurdles that children have to overcome when one parent is not available, specifically fatherless but this can apply if the mother can not commit to the best of her ability of parent.
The argument isn't about disliking someone on their orientation, that argument is about obligation to those who are completely dependent on others.
Now this doesn't mean I can't be critical of NOM, recently they showed a study comparing both biological parents raising children to same-sex couples. The study showed the outcomes of children, but I felt it was unfair. For instance you would compare step-families to step-families, adoption to adoption, and foster to foster in the outcomes of children. Nothing really can compare to an individual being raised by both their biological mother and father.
That's not disliking you and anyone.
Do you realize I routinely place children with relatives, no matter their sexual orientation?
Do you realize I routinely help foster care youth find homes, no matter their sexual orientation that are best fit for them?
Do you realize that if an older child requests specifically a form of family constellation, we meet that request.
Do you realize there are children who desire a mom and dad, there are children who have no preference, there are children who want no dad, and there was a case in which an older child requested two dads because the child had difficulty in the past with females?
If you are going to call me names, I'm going to defend myself. Yet I understand you're in pain from unjust discrimination, that pain is being misdirecting towards marriage and me. No doubt marriage has been crippled well before this debate. But with so many children facing the fact they will not have a relationship and benefit from living with their mother and father, public policy has to address it one way or another.
Renee Aste, Lowell Massachusetts
P.S. Thanks Mara Dolan who actually inspired this post, even though she would disagree me with on the subject.