Tuesday, June 4, 2013

High-risk sexual behavior isn't Healthy

Women Reject Sexually Promiscuous Peers When Making Female Friends - Science Daily

I don't use the word 'slut', so I'm have in quotations. I would never use the word positively or negatively to describe a woman, every woman despite her behaviors deserves some dignity.

From my volunteer work at DCF, girls who are promiscuous, engage in such behavior because they don't know what a healthy relationship looks like. They are not engaging in high-risk hooking up, because they want to be empowered sexually or have self-confidence. Initially they may engage in sex for an emotional connection, but over time being abandoned, they become emotionally null and void. They just keep hooking up, over and over again, because they feel they can never be loved.

The authors posit that evolutionary concerns may be leading men and women to disapprove of their bed-hopping peers as friends. They may actually be seeking to guard their mates from a threat to their relationship, Vrangalova said. In the case of promiscuous women rejecting other women with a high number of sexual partners, Vrangalova suggested that they may be seeking to distance themselves from any stigma that is attached to being friends with such women.

Well, yeah.

The authors report that the findings could aid parents, teachers, counselors, doctors and others who work with young people who may face social isolation due to their sexual activity.
Maybe the young woman should understand the social cues, that engaging in high risk sexual behavior that even may bring risk to another woman's relationship is a reasonable. If a young woman wants to have a monogamous healthy relationship based on mutual respect with a man, she doesn't need a girlfriend who is toxic to that goal. Fact is, women who engage in high risk behaviors are 'a mess', when it comes to being a friend. We don't need your drama, even a woman who is sexually promiscuous knows, she has her own set of problems in no way she can be a supportive friend to another sexually promiscuous woman. We have no time for friends who are 'crazy bitches', to put in terms of a young woman back many moons ago.

But I'm not a young woman, who needs to be on the look-out for my own personal interests. I'm an older woman, and the author is correct that it should be parents, teachers, counselors, doctors, and others who need to reach out to these women. It isn't clear, exactly the solution. My solution is stop having sex in non-existent relationships, focus on yourself and raise the bar in the expectations when it comes to sex and relationships.

If she doesn't know what that even looks like, there are people to help expose to the enlightening world of sexual relationships that are committed and monogamous, based on mutual respect and are supportive to one another. (We use to call this marriage, by the way). But that term is sort of null and void, in the context of the situation. The situation starts with a discussion, it starts with the way a woman should be treated by a man. It starts off seeing at least one model of a healthy marriage in that young woman's (or man's) life

What is insulting, is that women shouldn't consider changing her behavior. Objectively sexual promiscuity is not healthy. Even insisting, "future research to determine whom they could befriend -- perhaps straight or gay men who would be accepting of their behaviors." Ever think maybe gay men don't want 'a mess' of a friend either? Why burden them with her toxicity?


  1. Don't read too much into the call for future research. Every study ends with that. It's really just a call for future funding.

    Great post as always.

  2. Ha! More funding on why young women don't want future homewreckers for friends.

  3. I hadn't thought of that one.