Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Sex isn't a game. It's life.

How does one respond to the foolish and irresponsible acts of what occurred at Linden Avenue Middle School in Red Hook New York (April 2013)?
A group of students from Bard College led two workshops for the youth, separated by gender. During the workshop for girls, the 13 and 14-year-olds were told to ask one another for a lesbian kiss. They were also taught words such as “pansexual” and “genderqueer.” Parent Mandy Coon told reporters that her daughter was very uncomfortable with the exercise. “She told me, ‘Mom, we all get teased and picked on enough; now I’m going to be called a lesbian because I had to ask another girl if I could kiss her,’” she lamented.
According to reports, during the workshop for the adolescent boys, the students were counseled to keep a condom in their pocket at all times, and were taught how to identify a woman who is a “slut.”

So they were not actual teachers certified in health education? Their workshop was not apart of a curriculum that could be reviewed by parents or the student? These were college students, who basically had the floor to themselves to do whatever that really wanted with these middle school kids. Who was supervising them?

Never trust a condom in the pocket! You do not know where it has been or how old it is. In fact from the own sex-ed class from 20+ years ago, boys and girls in the same class room were told to keep condoms in the drawer! And never let a man call you a slut, ever! A man should never sexually label you! In the actual health class in my middle school, no one was forced to 'act out' or 'role play' in a classroom, expect a few years later in high school the AIDS assembly did at Chelmsford High back in 1992 which was performed by a non-health care professional.

It seems a lot of these controversies are coming from the assemblies/workshops, and not the actual curriculum that is set up by the health educator. A health teacher is a professional, he or she will speak to my children in the very same manner their doctor would speak to them in terms of sex. As someone who would be labeled conservative, we're not against teaching our children the facts of human sexuality, but we demand that it is done a manner that one would speak to a young adult that is at a level of a real health care professional.

I have some differing opinions, in fact I believe in younger marriage. People in their 60s, were married at 18-21, and I see so many happy life long marriages. By definition, I'm not against teen sex, but then again I wouldn't be against teen marriage or even teen parents. Also 50 years ago, one could raise a family with just a high school degree, now a college degree is a credential. It's actual value though, it being debated for another post.

Can Your Sexual Debut Predict Your Future? From Psychology Today April 16, 2013

Most studies indicate that sex at a young age (under age 15 in the US) raises the level of risk for future delinquency as well as mental and physical health difficulties (depression, eating disorders, unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases)......

Interestingly, Harden’s data showed no differences between the 'early' and ‘on- time’ groups. But those participants who waited with sex at least until the age of twenty were significantly different from the other groups. They earned more money, acquired more education, had fewer partners and reported far fewer problems with their marriages.

Obviously this does not mean everyone who waits for sex will marry well (or marry at all: the percentage of married people in the late group was lower than in the others), just as we can’t conclude that early sex necessarily begets an unhappy marriage. Psychological research deals with probabilities, not absolutes. Even the solid link between drunk driving and car accidents, for example, does not mean that every, and only, drunk drivers have accidents.

Parents, you matter to your children, more then the school and media like to think. You are their first teacher and role model. Even if may lose to the school system, you spoke up and defended your child's right to be taught in a professional manner on human sexuality. Parents, scientific research backs up you intuitive belief that young teens should not be having sex in unstable relationships for recreational purposes. That postponing sex does indeed have it real benefits for them, and promotes love and healthy marriages.

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